On Hyperbole

"Laal’s new and most revolutionary video to date. Please paste to your profile to spread awareness against religious extremism."

Thus spake the Twitter-feed of Laal the band’s lead singer, guitarist-songwriter-Marxist-academic-revolutionary Dr. Taimur Rahman, announcing the upload of the band’s latest track onto YouTube.





The song, which features an anti-American/CIA/ISI visual collage, plus Comrade Taimur's delightfully uninhibited-by-hipness moves, and a chorus of "Dehshatgardi Murdabad" (Death to Terrorism), hasn’t received as much hype as some of their earlier offerings. One theory is that this is not because of its subject matter, or the moves (you know someone is committed to their cause when they even dance earnestly), but because it simply isn’t good music. (Though some people feel that a song that incorporates spitting out the words "Pitthoo", "Chamchay" and "Tattu" deserves the same special cult status reserved for e.g. films by Ed Wood.) Still, it has accumulated more than its fair share of ‘this rocks’ and ‘I love it’ and ‘brilliant!’ in the etherworld.

Another reason why Laal hasn’t received the adulation they usually receive from the proletariat might be that, in this month’s anthem for doomed youth by doomed youth race, they were pipped to the post by the Lahori trio, the delightfully named Beyghairat Brigade. Their debut single Aalu Anday – which an objective analysis suggests has no musical merit but does include references to nobel laureate Abdus Salam, a poke at hypocritical piety and a slew of made-for-T-shirts slogans – went viral, then epidemic.





Comments on online forums dubbed the trio the avatars of Hope, Future, Progress and Blaziken the Pokemon. NFP placed it in its proper socio-political context. The BBC translated it for white people. The Indian media checked it for skidmarks. In yesterday’s Dawn Huma Yusuf diluted an otherwise sensible take by waxing lyrical about its "bravery and brilliance." And a little while ago XYZ told me:

"Personally I also think you underestimate the Aalu Anday video's sociological/ cultural significance in an environment where "radical" is usually attached to musicians who attack thr US' policies or drones or terrorism (can we get any more safe consensus?). Whatever you may think of the quality of the music - which is no doubt basic - I think the real reason it struck a chord is because it's the first time any of the conspiracy theories / looney ideologies of the right were taken on in musical format on television and that too in a light satirical way rather than the hammer (and sickle) on the head style of Laal."

Which I took to mean: ‘Achha theek hai yaar logon nay yeh batain pehlay bhi boli hain but no one’s ever set it to music before. In 2011.’

It is these hyperbolic reactions, and not the songs themselves or the issues they inhabit, that I’ve been thinking about.

Sometimes I feel the bar has been set so low only pygmies can limbo safely beneath it.

Which brings me to the third subject of this post, Imran Khan. That’s right. Immy Bhai. Also known, since yesterday, as Yes We Khan, The Face Of Our Future, The Country’s New Beginning and Pakistan’s Last Hope.

Imran Khan's moment in Lahore yesterday

Now, you might be asking, what do revolutionary private dancers, satirical musical hobbyists and Imran Khan have in common?

One, good intentions, which, as some of you might have heard, are the Devil’s Envicrete. Two, a youthful embrace, which, as some of you might also have heard, might be wonderful at the time but really does not compare to the ministrations of a slightly more experienced lover.

For me, good intentions = good music does not compute, and good intentions = good leadership does not compute. So yes musical taste is subjective, and yes I’m happy that young people want to bring death to terrorists and impressionable young groupies to their rooms, but no I’m not going to call it ‘brilliant’ or ‘revolutionary’, I’m going to call it ‘clever’, ‘catchy’ and ‘common sense.’

Similarly, I don’t have to like Imran Khan to be impressed by his newfound street power. I don’t have to agree with his simplistic interpretations of complex realities to welcome the throwing of another cap into the political ring. I don’t have to have a bouffant to think he is right to demand politicians declare their real assets. But I’m not going to call it ‘a new beginning’ or ‘Pakistan’s Last Hope’. I’m going to say ‘show me your policies before I give you my vote’, ‘I’d be more optimistic if he’d suggested he was going to deal with extremism by following Bangladesh’s keep-religion-out-of-politics lead rather than praying on stage’ and ‘a flock of 300,000 sheep is still a flock of sheep.’

For this position, this notion of life in continuity instead of life just now, I might well be called a cynic. But I think there is a pattern here. Life has taught Pakistanis to diminish their expectations rather than maintain them, and our rush to embrace the mediocre as a heartbreaking work of staggering genius, just because the young do, makes those of us who really should know better complicit in this sorry state of affairs.

So celebrate, by all means, good things like earnest young musicians, smartass kids and politicians finally being able to actualize their messianic fantasies. Just don’t act like it’s the second coming of Christ, fer Chrissake.

Rock & Steamrollered

Uh oh. Nothing like a former bandmate's vote of confidence.

Salman Ahmed: sufi reverie broken (Photo: The Independent)

Here is Junoon lead guitarist and composer Salman Ahmed (no stranger to weird political positions and publicity seeking himself), writing a response to Ali Azmat's appearance on DawnNews (presented earlier).

Can we just say 'Meowwwww!!!'?

FROM SALMAN AHMAD FOR ALL DISGRUNTLED JUNOONIS

 

"Dear Junoonis,

 

after reading your deluge of e-mails and tweets of disgust concerning Ali Azmat‘s recent appearance on Dawn TV,I saw the programme myself and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry!

 

I’m stunned at the audacity of ignorance, the dishonesty and the complete hypocrisy uttered by Ali Azmat on the recent Dawn TV show. Pakistan does not need the “Danda” or a “Khilafat” any more than it needs corrupt politicans,suicide bomb blasts and drones that kill innocent civilians.

 

I wonder why Dawn TV doesnt choose to invite serious people who have contributed positively to Pakistan’s culture,education and society rather than trying to get cheap laughs out of confused and brainwashed celebrity addicts. Cynical ideologues who find Ali Azmat to be an eager robot for their conspiracies must also be wondering what kind of Bald “Pappu yaar” they have unleashed on the Pakistani population.

 

For the record: I would like to make clear that Ali Azmat had zero creative input on over 90% of the Junoon songs (Including Jazba Junoon, Azadi,Allama Iqbal, Bulleh Shah’s and Shah Hussain’s songs and Pappu Yaar). Ali was completely resistant and and hostile to the spiritual poetry of Bulleh Shah and Allama Iqbal and hated singing Sufi songs (and now he wants an Islamic Khilafat sponsored by the Army! Allah help Pakistan) .

 

While in Junoon the only thing Ali was most vociferous about was having his money for nothing and his chicks for free, and yes he also enjoyed running naked in the middle of the night in 5 star hotels screaming inquilaab! If this is a reaction to his earlier loose canon extremism, he should make a remake of the movie ALL OF ME.

 

After watching Ali’s “dumb and dumber” drivel, I feel i should retitle my book from Rock & Roll Jihad to “How Junoon survived despite a Psychotic, Paranoid & Schizophrenic Bald man!” "

I think it would be safe to say there's a little bit of unfinished business between the two former bandmates. I think it would also be safe to say this response was not very sufi of Salman Ahmed. More along the lines of 'don't screw up my corporate brand, you fuck!' How did that Junoon song go?... "Woh yaadein, woh mulaqaatein....!"

Heavy Music

Oof! You think pop musicians are a 'community', 'one big happy family'? Well, you might want to watch this edition of Front Line with Kamran Shahid, which featured a no-holds barred, slash and burn squabble between some of pop music's leading lights. The programme was broadcast on Express TV on June 6.

Apparently this was Part 2 of a programme dealing ostensibly with corruption within non-governmental organizations (NGOs). On the panel were three pop stars - Abrarul Haq, Shehzad Roy and Jawwad Ahmed -  each of whom have set up their own NGOs to 'give back to the people of Pakistan' in the health and education sectors (why musicians were singled out for this programme, I do not know).

In any case, what started off as a rather interesting discussion about the efficacy of NGOs in the face of overwhelming social problems - Jawwad Ahmed's point that NGOs are no solution to structural problems that require overturning basic social relationships being a valid one - soon deteriorated when Abrar took Jawwad's general point as some sort of personal attack on his NGO's work. In fact, Abrar's umbrage at Jawwad's criticism of NGOs being held out as some substitute to state responsibility, quickly degenerated into invoking religion and patriotism. To be fair to him, his upset was perhaps also motivated by an irritation at Jawwad's sometimes self-righteous tone and his desire to leave aside rhetoric and do something practical. However, his refusal to even consider Jawwad's view as having any merit made him come across as petulant that his attempt to sell NGO jargon ("the four I's") was being sidetracked.

The tensions over philosophical points of view boiled over by the end of the programme into an ugly and very personal slanging match between the two, wherein both accused each other of corruption and embezzlement. If anyone came across well, it has to be said it was the youngest of the three panelists, Shehzad Roy, who displayed a remarkable maturity in keeping himself above the fray. In addition, he seemed to clearly understand both points of view and what the issue being debated was. Which is more than one can say for the host, Kamran Shahid - incidentally, the son of film actor Shahid, in case you did not know - whose bumbling interventions consisted entirely of trying to drag the discussion to the level of soundbites about corruption.

Here's the programme. The real ugly fireworks begin in the last part but if you have the time and interest in the philosophical issue, recommend watching the whole thing.


Part 1:






Part 2:





Part 3:





Part 4:






On the one hand, I am sort of happy to see that (at least some of) Pakistan's pop musicians can actually think of things beyond multinational sponsorships and weirdo conspiracy theories and talk about real issues with some intelligence. On the other, I doubt I could watch their music videos any more without thinking of this exchange.

The Aag that Fizzled Out

The Jang Group's music channel Aag broadcast over new year's eve a 12-hour concert "telethon" grandiloquently dubbed "the Woodstock of Pakistan." Titled "Aag Alive '09" the multi-performer concert was shown on the channel from  2pm on December 31, 2009 till 2am on January 1, 2010. This is how it was hyped on the channel's own website:

In the spirit of the famous events such as Woodstock and Live Aid that simply made the art of live music more popular all over the world, we present to you… Aag Alive ’09, the first ever music festival of the youth in Pakistan. The festival Aag Alive 09 will be geared to a big celebration of music in all It’s genres and forms for all ages and audience scopes. From Live acts, to DJs, rock bands to solo artists, everyone will together on a single pedestal for one purpose of celebrating and enjoying live music. 

Except, of course, that Aag Alive '09 was NOT live and did not take place in Pakistan and turned out of be pretty much a damp squib! (So much for the "youth of Pakistan" camping out in a spirit of revelry! -  but more on that later.)

Yeah, those crowds were not really there in the actual event

Keen observers may have caught on to the fact that when you can see promotional clips of the concert BEFORE the actual transmission, it's a sure sign that the performances are not being beamed to you live. But what went on behind the scenes is a story and a half in itself. Apparently the concert was such a disaster financially and logistically that an internal inquiry has been ordered within the Jang Group to ascertain how it all went so wrong. Sources say not only did Aag manage to lose a hefty chunk of cash in the process, a lot of sleazy internal recriminations have been the result, with the head of Aaj 'Content Head' Wajahat Rauf now on the chopping block.

Some may remember that this project has had a truly fitful history. First planned for Karachi almost as far back as August 14 (if memory serves me correctly), it was shifted to Lahore in October out of security concerns only to see that city beset by triple terrorist attacks (Manawan et al) in the space of a few days. That took the wind out of the sails of the Lahori Woodstock. Here's what the plan had been:



Then, amid speculation that the concert might be shifted back to Karachi - with Islamabad, Peshawar and Quetta also being pretty much out of contention because of the perilous security situation there - it was suddenly announced that the 'Woodstock / Live Aid of Pakistan' would take place in Dubai on December 11. Surreal as it may sound - that a live concert meant to involve the young people of Pakistan be held among the sand dunes of the United Arab Emirates where only expats and Arabs could be the live audience - that is exactly how the brilliant minds of Aag think.

But if the basic premise seems wonky, this was only the beginning of the disaster that followed. Over 150 people, including musicians, Aag channel veejays, producers, technicians, Jang Group corporate types and a few journalists (only from the Jang Group of course) were flown into Dubai for the event in early December. Things did not get off to a smooth start for the organizers. First there was the cribbing from the stars - some male veejays were asked to bunk with camera crews to save money and claimed they were promptly forgotten with respect to food; musicians were handed cheap packed lunch boxes in their hotel rooms (also to save money obviously) and rebelled at their shabby treatment, with Hadiqa Kayani and Immu of Fuzion calling up Dr Akbar Yezdani of Fire Records (another Jang Group company) and apparently throwing fits. Then once it was discovered that Atif Aslam had been provided the royal treatment - in contrast to the rest - Shafqat Amanat Ali promptly announced he was walking out of the show and caught a flight back to Pakistan.

Atif Aslam gives the finger to the other musicians

In fact, of the 22 performers initially touted to perform at the event, there was no sign of the following in the concert that was eventually broadcast: Shafqat, Jal, Shiraz Uppal, Rahim Shah, Karavan, Aaroh, Siege and Mauj. Strings, who you can see in the promo above, had mysteriously disappeared off the roster earlier.

The initial line-up for Dubai

The main concert was to have been preceded by what had been billed as "Camp Night" which had been explained in the following words on the Aag website:

The idea of the Camp Night is to encourage bonding between the artists and their fans. Let your hair down and feel absolutely free to don your wackiest clothes and strum guitars or beat your percussions as much and as loud as you want. Since the night belongs to you the spot light will be on you, there will be no questions asked. All we expect is some pre concert decorum (spell mayhem). AAG will be there has to come from you. For the uninitiated Aag Alive’s camp night will be a memorable experience because never before in the history of pop culture in Pakistan has any Tv  channel or record label camped out for the connoisseurs of music. Get your bag packs, sleeping bags and tents ready because Student participants will be allowed to camp the night before in an environment that will be purely music and freedom of expression oriented. Live jam sessions in front of bonfires, DJs, dance floor to all the trivia that makes up for a perfect start for a festival shall be there at the camp day session a night before the big day.

Well, suffice it to say, it didn't quite work out. Understandable, since the Pakistani youth were all sitting sulkily thousands of miles away. All that Aag showed of that night of supposed bonfires, bag packs (sic) and revelry was a low-key two-hour taped show on December 11 at the time the concert was to have been aired.

Things unravelled fast after that. As the main concert was being set up, UAE decided to have a freak rainstorm. As buckets of water fell from the sky and electrical equipment began to blow up, it was discovered that Aag Alive 09 actually did not have permission to broadcast live from Dubai. And apparently Mr. Rauf - whose contribution to Aag programming includes the right-wing conspiracy nutjob programmes Iqbal Ka Pakistan (with Zaid Hamid) and Thori Si Siyasat (with Zaid Hamid protege Ahmed Qureshi) - was not even aware that he needed such permission. In that sense, the rain disaster was a sort of blessing for the ill-prepped production. Last minute hectic manoeuvrings by Geo TV in Dubai managed to secure the requisite permissions but by then it had become fairly obvious that the concert could not take place as sheets of rain continued to fall and the streets turned into rivers.

Meanwhile, the poor veejays and musicians were being told every 15 minutes or so that the show was about to go on air, so continued to remain in a state of on-air readiness for almost about 8 hours. By then, Jang Group CEO Mir Shakilur Rahman - who had stepped in to 'oversee' over the phone what was going on in the absence of his son Mir Ibrahim whose baby Aag is but who is currently in the US for a post-graduate degree - had lost it. He told Wajahat Rauf in no uncertain terms that, having spent such a fortune, he'd better have something to put on air.

Wajahat Rauf (r) with Geo President Imran Alsam (c) and Fire Records chief Dr. Akbar Yazdani (l) in the background

Mr. Rauf did what any man in his position might have done. He promptly had a "nervous breakdown" and was rushed to hospital. Jang Group executives were led to believe he had suffered a "mini-heart attack". But their sympathies soon evaporated when they discovered that the rest of the senior Aag team decided - instead of putting their heads together to try to figure out what to do about the flailing production - that they would rather attend a party thrown by former popster Fakhr-e-Alam who now resides in Dubai. Some sources claim even Mr. Rauf and his wife eventually landed up at the same party.

The next day, with everything in disarray, some of the female veejays decided to bail and caught flights back to Karachi. However, another stern warning from Jang management lit the fire under Rauf and others and they drove off to Sharjah, where they managed to find some sort of warehouse / wedding hall in which to film the "biggest youth music festival of Pakistan" with whatever they had left. Although still fairly slick production-wise (for what it was), you can tell how much space and audience was on hand from the following clip:



So, the "live" concert taped, they headed back to face the wrath of Mir Shakil. Meanwhile with the onset of Moharram, there was not enough time to edit the taped programme for the broadcast and it was finally decided, despite Mir Shakil's displeasure, that the programme would go on air on December 31, just three days after Ashura and, as it happened, after 44 people lost their lives in Karachi in the attack on the Ashura procession. At least one of the main sponsors of the "telethon" by then had had enough and pulled out, while the other two slashed their sponsorships, pointing out rightly that they had been promised a live event which would now be a taped broadcast.

Jang Group and Aag executives went into damage limitation mode immediately and pleaded with all involved not to speak publicly about it. Of course, no Jang Group reporter ever wrote anything publicly either, though one Jang reporter did write an internal email describing the event as a "disgrace" to the reputation of the Jang Group. Mir Shakil is reputed to have been long unhappy with the money-losing Aag and according to Jang Group insiders would not be unhappy with the channel being shut down completely. This disaster would not have exactly encouraged a change of mindset.

If you ask me, it all sounds fairly commonplace for events organized in (or out) Pakistan and especially those organized by media houses with their fingers in too many pies. We have all heard of the production disasters at things like the MTV Music Awards and the Lux Style Awards. And that is not even the point. To be sure the concept was very ambitious to begin with, things always go wrong in productions and some of the problems that beset the production (such as the rain!) were obviously not within the control of the organizers. However, isn't it about time Pakistani event organizers begin to get a little professional about their work (if only for the sake of the poor people involved)? And isn't a policy of fair disclosure (e.g. that what you are hyping as a live event is not exactly that) a basic requirement now for our media?

Of course, there is the other big problem, which I have referred to in earlier posts, and which is the main reason for taking the time to blog this: with media owners now spreading their wings in all sorts of businesses, who is going to write about / report on them, when any negative publicity of these businesses is forbidden in the media house's own publications? Can we then call it really independent and free journalism?