In any case, here are today's awards...
1. Worst Pun in Headline Award
Winner: Express Tribune, reporting on April 25 about a visiting cyclist from Holland who had his treasured racing bicycle stolen, and recovered, in Hyderabad:
"Nether mess with someone from the Dutch lands"(Twice in a row. ET seems to be on a roll with this category.)
2. Inappropriately Wistful Headline Award
Winner: Express Tribune, reporting on April 13 about the possible cause for the fall in the number of major suicide and fidayeen attacks:
"Where have all the suicide bombers gone?
Honorable Mention: Express Tribune, reporting April 28 on the arrest of Mumtaz Hussain alias Munna, allegedly one of Karachi's most notorious hitmen (not available on the web but on main Karachi page of the print edition):
"One of the city's best target killers arrested"
But lest anyone go away with the impression that it's only the good folk over at Express Tribune who don't always read their own paper...I've saved the best for the last. But first, let me set the stage here.
About three weeks ago, a friend from Islamabad had alerted me to this hilarious knee-slapper in The News. Unfortunately, although people in Lahore informed me that they too had the privilege of feasting their eyes on it in their city, I could not find it in the Karachi edition of the paper - which has plenty of goof-ups of its own, just not this particular one.
Of course, as pointed out once earlier, it seems the epaper on the web is basically the Karachi edition , so this blooper is not accessible on the net either. Basically, I had to wait for one of our lazy friends in Islamabad or Lahore to get round to either scanning the paper or sending me the original. I am happy to report that daer aaye, durust aaye, the original Lahore edition from April 6 has finally made it into my hands. And thus I can regale you with...
3. Reporter's Moaning as Headline Award
Winner: The News, hands down, for Part 5 of a seemingly exhaustive multi-part Special Report by reporter Amir Mateen, analysing the internal political culture of the three main political parties:
"Don't have the energy to see it again"
And here's the scan to enjoy in all its glory:
And that's all from the BNH Contest for now. See you next time.
Oh well, i don't know if my story is appropriate to share at this forum but what the heck. this happened quite a while ago when I was working in a Jang publication.
ReplyDeleteHad to file a story about some armed forces PR exercise while I was down with flu and cough. I did it from home under the influence of the cough syrup cocktail and sent it on with a note to the sub saying"please give it a headline. I am delirious."
Found it printed under "I am delirious" the next day :-(
May be it was just one of those days at The News.
When there are bizarre headlines, some of which come late because you had to wait for your lazy friends ... to either scanning the paper or sending you the original. You are happy to report that daer aaye, durust aaye,....
ReplyDeleteBut I am a bit angry. The correct expression in "daer ayad, durust ayad". Not aaye. In Persian there is no aaye.
But, keep it up.
Lol. Good ones again. I think I'll subscribe to ET and The News just for this kind of stuff than anything else.
ReplyDeleteI mean, I do not understand. Exactly what kind of editors and subeditors are running the show in these newspapers.
As if The News' perversive obbsession with everything Zardari or Sonia-Shaoib was bad enough, and ET's terrible, terrible oped pages packed with hyperbolic bloggers, these papers go further down the spiral of idiocy at the drop of a hat.
Oh thank you thank you thank you thank you and THANK YOU!!! I'd been DYING to get my hands on a copy of the "don't have the energy to see it again" edition, and no one was giving me one. THANK YOU!!! XYZ, you rock and boulder!!! :-D
ReplyDeleteET should hire Amir Mateen so they can win future BNH contests.
ReplyDeleteDude, gossip is one thing. but getting papers scanned across cities and uploaded and.....wow....you kinda need a life now
ReplyDeletethis guy's got a point XYZ. :p
ReplyDeleteThat guy might be Amir Mateen. He has decided to use his energy here. :D
ReplyDeleteHas anyone noticed that the cover price of et has fallen by five rupees?
ReplyDeleteSales must be baaaaaaaad.
Realistically though, how will this paper ever break even given its enormous input cost? And if money is not the main concern, and the power of manufacturing dissent is, shouldn't et get rid of its dawn news-ish editorial staff?
Sales? People are still surprised to get free copies. There was no market for an English paper. I believe they will drop idea to publish from any other city. Arif Nazami should also think 15 times (if he wants to price it 15 Rs) to bring out his English newspaper. There is not many readers out there. None of these papers can beat DAWN in quality so who will switch. How many days you will buy any paper for mere good layout or sketches?
ReplyDeletePrice:
ReplyDelete* Daily: Rs. 20
* Sunday: Rs. 25
They should bring it to 15 and 22 to at least compete with DAWN. For that they should lay off Saba Imtiaz type fancy brigade.
Can someone at et, all of whom I am sure read this blog, please tell me what the mood seems to be inside the bosses camp? Is anyone in management worried at all about the enormous white elephant they are feeding? And are they at all miffed about the 200 copy sales and having to change the cover price, and the free copies. Is there a plan as to when the free copies will stop?
ReplyDeleteAnd is anyone at all in the common ranks worried about their jobs?
Oh and will they split IHT and the ET and market it separately?
ReplyDeleteI would also like to know more about the fancy pants brigade. ET employees like Saba Imtiaz, Salman Siddiqui, Mahim Maher, Nadir Hasan and Sana Ahmad all think they are a gift to journalism but they cant even bring out a good newspaper. I hope they have learnt some humility.
ReplyDeleteLahore launches on May 15. The two cannot be split
ReplyDeleteSeparate IHT and ET. Then what will be the attraction left in ET? Lahore launching will be more financial burden than any gain. But Lakhanis have made enough money from detergents to waste in the fame game. At least for some time, the fancy pants brigade can be also on high wave. They would do much service to ET if each one of them can sell 10 copies to their friends and relatives. That will double the paid circulation from 200 to 400 per day. That would be a great gift to ET from these "gift to journalism".
ReplyDeleteI wonder if it is possible for et to even print the iht. don't they have to get a form b or c - a valid separate declaration for the iht to be printed in pakistan - and is this even possible to get?
ReplyDeletei agree - if they minus iht from et - there will be nothing left to read. which just begs the question - who is in charge of their awful awful ad campaign - "when you by et, you get iht as a deal sweetener' or something to that effect. aren't they just admitting that et needs iht to sweeten the deal?
I wonder if it is possible for et to even print the iht. don't they have to get a form b or c - a valid separate declaration for the iht to be printed in pakistan - and is this even possible to get?
ReplyDeletei agree - if they minus iht from et - there will be nothing left to read. which just begs the question - who is in charge of their awful awful ad campaign - "when you by et, you get iht as a deal sweetener' or something to that effect. aren't they just admitting that et needs iht to sweeten the deal?
and still people insist that Express Tribune is a better newspaper than dawn just because of bold color print
ReplyDeleteLol. This is hilarious. Btw, accurate comments about people like Sana Ahmad, Mahim Maher and Salman Siddiqi. Plus, people like Saba Imtiaz, why are they allowed to pose as journalists?
ReplyDeleteIt's nice though, ET having a shit time after its bosses did all they could to endlessly malign Jung and Dawn. Serves them right.
why isn't there a bizarre story/feature/article contest on cafe pyala? I would recommend "The matriarch" by Zahra Nasir that appeared in ET on April 30 (http://tribune.com.pk/story/10045/the-matriarch/) for the weirdest article award. Please consider.
ReplyDelete@Anon952: That's a hilarious story! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete@idrees: Thanks for the correction, I think... So are you saying one cannot say it in Urdu either? Genuinely interested to know...
@Bolshevik: Ha! You're welcome! :)
@Anon814: Poor Amir Mateen, I don't think he had anything to do with that headline.
@Anon530: Yeah, you may be right about that... except that it's not me commenting on blogs by people with apparently no life at 5.30 in the morning... Ok so I need to get a life. What's your brilliant excuse?
@All discussing ET price drop and circulations: You know, one doesn't want to be the person to say, 'we told you so'. But yes, a price change so soon after launch does betray either initial stupidity or later panic, probably both.
@All those discussing particular journalists / staffers at ET: I'm sorry but these seem purely like personal and vindictive attacks based on arbitrary likes and dislikes - after all, why should they be singled out for no apparent reason? - and I would request you folks to lay off. Especially if you don't have anything substantial to back up your opinion or the guts to put your name to it. Personally, I think some of the people mentioned are good journalists.
@Anon953: Yes, had already seen the piece. All I can say is aah, so much material, so little time! :)
Viewing a gossipy blog and commenting takes two clicks and two minutes. If your blog was only available in lahore, and I had to bug friends to print it and send it to me. THEN I would be in as desperate need of a life as you.
ReplyDeleteBut thanks for all the effort. It does provide a few chuckles.
^^ Yes Kamal ;-}
ReplyDeleteAnnon 9:53 Thanks for mentioning this article. http://tribune.com.pk/story/10045/the-matriarch/
ReplyDeleteET circulation will surely increase publishing articles on brassieres and panties.
ET is proud of this article which readers are rating as Porn and their second finest yet. What was their "finest one"?
ReplyDeleteSisyphusGrey
An article on the brassiere in Express Tribune. Quite possibly their 2nd finest piece yet (Porn Industry #1) http://bit.ly/dpQp8B @dishoompk about 1 hour ago via TweetDeck Retweeted by etribune