Monday, May 25, 2009

110-year-old Man Dies Under Mysterious Circumstances

A headline in today's Daily Times Karachi pages tells us of the shocking loss of centenarian Yousuf from Nazimabad, who shuffled off this mortal coil at the tender age of 110. Gone too soon (to make the Guinness World Record). While most of us consider it an impressive feat to survive Karachi past the age of 40, here are some possible reasons why Yousuf's passing may have been considered mysterious:

He was not honour-killed
He did not have any affiliation to Denmark, Norway or any other conspicuously Scandinavian country
He wasn't attempting to flee Swat on foot, with a refrigerator strapped to his back
He wasn't a member of the constabulary
He wasn't driving through Shara-e-Faisal during a riot
He wasn't beheaded by the Taliban for trying to watch the American Idol finale
He was not stuck in an unmoving ambulance on a road blocked to allow a member of parliament to attend a wedding on time
He was not a woman who had an argument with her father/husband/boyfriend/uncle/in-laws
He didn't catch a nasty disease at an IDP camp
The only American drones he encountered were the ones presenting Fox News
His death was not agreed upon by a tribal jirga
His ventilator/respirator/dialysis machine didn't succumb to loadshedding
He wasn't anywhere near a visiting cricket team
He didn't commit suicide due to sheer helplessness

I can fully understand why the coroners are stumped.


XYZ said...
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XYZ said...

Funny :) but the story does say the poor man had critical head injuries...! A little bit of manipulation there on your part wouldn't you say Mrs Parker?

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