Saturday, April 10, 2010

Aik Khiladi, Aik Haseena Aur Hazaar Apoplectic Nitwits

Consider this a long-delayed cry-out to the FiveRupees team to start blogging again. We miss you guys! Tweeting is just not the same thing.

In honour of FiveRupees lead blogger Ahsan's favourite topic (besides football) - Pak India wars in online comments - I am reproducing here the rather long but hilarious comments section so far on a Times of India story that pointedly suggests that another former Pakistan cricket skipper is involved in a cross-border romance with another Indian celebrity. Yes, we're talking Wasim Akram and Sushmita Sen. Ahsan's twitter feed is where I first picked up this gem in any case.

Akram and Sen: causing cross-border rage 

We have no idea whether the gossipy story itself is credible or not. But that's not even the point. The point are the readers' responses, which follow the traditional pattern of Indo-Pak diplomacy: petty, point-scoring, often crude, badly-constructed and singularly devoid of sense or grammar. No Am(a)n Ki Asha meeting place this. Enjoy.

Responses are in order of posting... And once again, apologies for the long cut and paste, but I wanted you guys to get the real flavour...

Champ INDIA 09 Apr, 2010 06:05 AM
What has TOI got to do with their life. Why do they have to invade others privacy.
Rider USA 10 Apr, 2010 12:32 AM
Come on everybody , if Indian woman likes to have that thing with men with pakistanis , there must be a reason ,we all know indian men are generally vegetarians where Pakis eat a lot of chiken and beef etc , so ya they have a better performance , you know what i mean , right ,,,,
Salim Hyderabad 09 Apr, 2010 10:09 PM
There is actually something really wrong with Paki womenEither they have been completely used and roughed up by the taliban.OR the arabs who visit pakis have made all the paki women their 4th 5th or 10th wives.OR paki men has not seen any paki women as they are all clad in black head to toe
bharat india 09 Apr, 2010 05:38 PM
pathetic romance by sushmita sen. she has changed many boys. last she find the boy from our enemy country ?. in indian over 100 crore she could not find a single boy. hs no love for india. sushmita n sania should be ready to face the MF husain future ...
bhol CA 10 Apr, 2010 04:44 PM
I totally agree !
Amol USA 09 Apr, 2010 05:51 AM
Seems time is in for Indian men to look for Pakistani women and start a new trend. Indian women seem to be so liberal that they don't think who they are dating. When on the other side of the border there is no love lost of India, Indian women are treading a dangerous line.
SN Hyderabad 09 Apr, 2010 10:49 AM
" Indian men to look for Pakistani women "
Ratna Bahrain 09 Apr, 2010 10:32 PM
Pakistani Women did not expose to attract unlike Indian Bollywood women. For Sex they fall pray.
Alikhan pakistan 09 Apr, 2010 05:14 AM
Indian men are obviously useless and hence indian women prefer real men from Pakistan. hahaha
Amit Mumbai 09 Apr, 2010 07:06 AM
And Pakistani women are so ugly, that Paki men have to come to India looking for beauties... hahaha.
afreen lucknow 09 Apr, 2010 08:57 AM
well said hi hi hi an Indian Muslim girl
SAHIL PAKISTAN 09 Apr, 2010 11:02 AM
i am Handsome pakistani .........A nuclear engineer From Massachusetts institute of Technology...If u wanna friendship me .then email me at my Email ID
Jeetesh Bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 12:29 PM
But where you will live after getting married......In Massachusetts, Dubai or some other country...As no girl from india or anywhere else want to settle in Pakistan.....
salim Boston 10 Apr, 2010 03:31 AM
do they teach you to place rdx in your underwear you paki?
Venkat Delhi 09 Apr, 2010 10:42 PM
Great Sahil, but sorry to say there are no gays around here....
nishiks birmingham 09 Apr, 2010 07:34 PM
why dont u place nuclear bomb up yours-----
Manish Delhi 09 Apr, 2010 08:37 AM
very well said
Nafisa India 09 Apr, 2010 09:30 AM
Gud reply Amit. One tight slap on the face to Alikhan!!!!
diya bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 10:30 AM
Mr.Alikhan its jus that indian men are intelligent enuf to choose their gals with no brain and desperate heart have to compromise with pak men.
Biswa Bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 11:25 AM
Diya's comments is the reality..
sheryar UK 09 Apr, 2010 11:46 AM
sush and sania are no desperate girls with no brian
parijesh Mumbai 09 Apr, 2010 10:11 AM
good reply amit
Buzz India 09 Apr, 2010 11:02 AM
Hahaha... I m laughing and rolling on floor... GOD!!! superb reply...
huh Sgr 09 Apr, 2010 03:22 PM
mind of ugly people reflects ugly things
Hasan Stockholm 09 Apr, 2010 07:15 PM
i can only laugh at u.dil behlaney ko khayal acha hai ghalib.yeah u have beautiful ladies only in movies otherwise indian girls r ugly at large.i have seen myself. beta kabhi pakistan aa ke daiko teri ankhain khul jain gi..why shld our women choose indian men bcoz they r ugly.hehe
parvez dubai 09 Apr, 2010 09:20 AM
Actually pakistani ladies are too hot, wants sex at least twise, before go to bed and before starting the day, poor pak men are not able to do that, to protect their ego they are marrying to others, this way they can keep themself away from sex. They know they would not be living together.
Khan Pakistan 09 Apr, 2010 12:06 PM
Indians women are soo hot that only pak giants will fulfill their sex desires so any one want may contact me
omar Dammam 09 Apr, 2010 11:21 PM
Since when have the paki pathans started liking women,what i know is they like the same sex. Ask the paki panjabi he will tell the truth
screwdriver bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 11:03 PM
only lesbians of india go for paki men
nishiks birmingham 09 Apr, 2010 07:29 PM
khan bhai--i know the story about pathan and the camel--whole world knows it.
Sumesh Dubai 09 Apr, 2010 09:42 AM
Pakis are obsessed with anything Indian, Kashmir, Indian ladies among the high in the list.
Akbar Dubai 09 Apr, 2010 06:39 PM
...Britney Spears and Lady Diana have been dating two Pakistani chaps .... Sumesh you have to agree there is something in Pakistani men.
bhalu TX 10 Apr, 2010 05:02 PM
They have big nose
Shyam Canada 09 Apr, 2010 10:13 AM
Indians showed they are real men in 1971 war.....hi...hi...
Khan India 09 Apr, 2010 12:03 PM
in all the war its indian who run away dont forget Kargil and 79 war. dear read history first correctly and then comment stupid
Jeetesh Bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 01:25 PM
@ Khan:: If you belongs to india, then shame on you....otherwise we dont care about what a pakistani is telling....One more need to brush up your history no war happened in 1979....Everyone knows about the truth...its not hidden....
Khan India 09 Apr, 2010 04:06 PM
Sorry typo mistake its 71 and i m proud to be indian by i m capable to face truth no matter how cruel dats was and reality is reality mind it
Erik Islamabad 09 Apr, 2010 06:23 PM
oh shut up.... you sensation lovers.... you know... ya right ...
chex Mumbai 09 Apr, 2010 04:27 PM
Khan first you check the history 1971 pakistan had lost and bangladesh was separated. for kargil nawaz sharif had to request america to intervene and save his army and Indian army had given safe passage to them to return back.
Erik Islamabad 09 Apr, 2010 06:24 PM
safe passage...wowww... son.. you have been there... in the war...great .. :D...
Indian India 09 Apr, 2010 03:22 PM
U bugger read the history first and not Pak made news..whole world knowz we won everytime bt as we dnt want any crap from despite winning all the wars till now we granted U ur life..
Praveen India 10 Apr, 2010 12:40 PM
U B@@d Khan, living in idnia eating indian food and talking for pakis, why dont u and ur community go to pakistan and get the citizen ship, then we hindus can live safely and peacefully.
dj Bangalore 10 Apr, 2010 01:06 PM
U r right Praveen. We should kick them out of India.
omar dammam 09 Apr, 2010 11:31 PM
First thing Khan is not indian he seems to be wearing a Indian mask. secondly India won all the wars which pakis do accept, listen to their tv shows and than you will know. thirdly paki army is so coward they brain wash, train and send their own people in front to die in front of Indian people
indian bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 11:05 PM
do u really belong to india, cross the the border over night like a pimp
Chinlee Japan 09 Apr, 2010 12:18 PM
What about war with china???
Abhi DXB 09 Apr, 2010 01:23 PM
China will realize the realily v soon, when dere will b no food for hungry people dere and left wid the ammunition 4 fighting others.
chinelee Japan 10 Apr, 2010 12:11 PM
MR.Abhi china is so far better than india we have already beaten you in war.if you want to fought again we are ready this this time we will take ladagh and kashmir to dont forget your past history
Erik Islamabad 09 Apr, 2010 06:28 PM
na Man don't ask them about wars...I don't know where have they read all this home made history of theirs...lolz.. They don't remember 1965, 1949 but what they will talk about is 1971, in which they did cross border terrorism and paid Mukti bani.. Alas, they can't face reality.
Khan India 09 Apr, 2010 11:59 AM
Yeh thats true Indian always shows in their films that women frm pak married to an indian now the reality begins womens of india getting married to Paki legends hahahahhahh
omar dammam 09 Apr, 2010 11:38 PM
Khan since your identity is hidden you seem to be more excited. you coward!
rakesh mumbai 10 Apr, 2010 04:06 AM
mr ali khan actually pakis men are so fool that anyone can make them dance on their tunes, gals like sania and others are gr8 musicians who really cares for their dancers so pls use ur brain, and whole world knows they come india to earn their brd and earn name
rakesh mumbai 10 Apr, 2010 04:04 AM
mr ali khan actually pakis men are so fool that anyone can make them dance on their tunes, gals like sania and others are gr8 musicians who really cares for their dancers so pls use ur brain, and whole world knows they come india to earn their brd and earn name
nishiks birmingham. 09 Apr, 2010 07:26 PM
the real men of pakistan are smelly,hairy with crooked nose--and will not keep thier nose off anyones business.
vikram london 09 Apr, 2010 06:59 PM
dating a indian girl is the biggest achievment for pakistani and pakistan
alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:30 AM
y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of ,nt shame for u
alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:29 AM
y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of ,nt shame for u
a a 09 Apr, 2010 10:14 AM
I cnat understand what theese political parties who on small issues creat big issues doing now. Well done Sania and now Sushmita its ur life and you can decide but see who are they ...I still remember what Paki crickters use to say about India and now for money and fame they are using Indian girls,,
Pritam Chennai 09 Apr, 2010 05:24 PM
Whats has political parties gotta do here u dumbo ? Will they decide who Shush or Akram dates ?
alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:28 AM
y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of ,nt shame for u
alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:28 AM
y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of ,nt shame for u
alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:28 AM
y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of ,nt shame for u
alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:28 AM
y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of ,nt shame for u
alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:28 AM
y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of ,nt shame for u
Simrat Manchester 09 Apr, 2010 01:58 AM
Please leave them alon, why you want to know their lives....
Simrat Manchester 09 Apr, 2010 01:57 AM
Leave them alone, why you want to know their lives...
Mangesh India 09 Apr, 2010 01:35 AM
I still remember, when Wasim Akram visited India and been to his native place (not able to recall the place). one of the media person asked about crush he has on Indian actress and he mentioned about Sushmita and now check his destiny.. cant believe.
Akbar Karachi 09 Apr, 2010 06:42 PM
People in Pakistan are to going to kick Wasim Akram's ass if he marries Sush. His wife just died ...he should have played it slow man !
arjun chennai 09 Apr, 2010 01:32 AM
TOI is becoming to suck like anything.. the news you guys publish.. is it that you dont have anything worth at all to say?
Atif Lahore 09 Apr, 2010 09:06 AM
We have a great word in urdu for what TOI is:
Jeetesh Bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 01:16 PM
@Atif::If you have a great word in urdu......they why dont you go there and read and give comments there itself....go tell about your dirty, cheap, lies in urdu...dont come on TOI and pollute with your nonsense...
Atif Lahore 09 Apr, 2010 05:15 PM
Bhayya mind kar gaye! Koi baat nahi! Sprite bujhaye pyaas, na kar baqwas! Ja k pee le! As i was saying - the word in urdu for TOI is "FARIGH"
adi Montreal 09 Apr, 2010 09:21 AM
Any guesses what will be her new name post marriage? Salma, Ayesha.....
RAMAN USA 09 Apr, 2010 09:32 AM

Is this what they mean when they say the next wars will be fought in cyberspace?


Bolshevik said...

More than the rabid ultra-nationalism, I'm disgusted at the inherent patriarchy in most of these comments.

Would their reactions be the same if an Indian man were to date a Pakistani woman? Also, would Pakistani men (PML-N, for instance) be so "accommodating" if Shoaib were a woman, and Sania a man?


Bolshevik said...

PS: Love the title of this post. :-)

Natasha said...

Amn ki asha getting 'out of control'

KP said...

hilarious when i read it...and....
sorry but

i am so tempted to say this.....

indians are so complexed and full of hatred, its shocking
plus they are a really sick way
they are fed hatred for pakistan and pakistanis which they spew out when given any chance, be it something so trivial as cross border relationship.

Anonymous said...

Despite the fact that the Cafe Pyala Crew has supposedly either worked or are currently working in the media, they seem to have absolutely no idea of the joy of crisp editing... hence pasting this barrage of mostly inane - and more importantly boring - comments - directly on their blog.

Fayez said...

jahalat se bharpoor. nonsense!

takhalus said...

info overload Cafewalahs trim it down to the best yeah fiverupees needs to get back to blogging.

TLW said...

indians are so complexed and full of hatred

Oh c'mon KP, we Paks can be the same way, too.

The reason we don't talk about the Indians that much, and in the same way, is cause we've got TTP cockroaches to squash.

Cafe Pyala Crew has supposedly either worked....have absolutely no idea of the joy of crisp editing

Here's a crisp statement anon:
Bugger Off.

Now isn't saying that a joy, you sarcastic twat?

TLW said...

So here's an article in the print media criticising the creative mediocrity and ultra-sensationalism of the electronic media:

The Media Mafia by Andleeb Abbas

Ahsan said...

Haha appreciate the shout-out, gents. My schedule loosens up again in a couple weeks, at which point it'll be back to normal.

Anonymous said...

"bhalu TX: They have big nose"

Bhalu from Texas wins. Close thread.

Anonymous said...

"Here's a crisp statement anon:
Bugger Off.
Now isn't saying that a joy, you sarcastic twat?"

Hahahahahaha! very well put TLW. Anon@1:57 sounds like a most anal twat...all that after the Cafe Pyala guys apologized TWICE in the post in the first place for the long cut and paste! If he's an editor, would hate to work for him. Most people probably do. ;)

mirza said...

i almost peed myself laughing.

Ahsan said...

Come on Pyalaites, it's the day you've been waiting for. Your favorite newspaper is coming out today. No commemorative post?

Nadir said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nadir said...

I love how China joins the fray at one point Haha

Anonymous said...

Ayesha Siddiqa finally joined ET. She writes for money only. Ayesha Siddiqa Inc. Ltd.

bonobashi said...

Ahsan must be green seeing this sample; as good as anything he dug out of YouTube, and that's saying something!

Good to see FiveRupees back, though.