Saturday, May 8, 2010

And If You Thought Shoaib's Warts Were Disgusting...

I could not imagine waking up to more disgusting news on the front pages of the morning papers.

According to the scoop in Dawn today (citing a report leaked to DawnNews), we hear for the first time what various coaches and managers actually said to the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) investigating committee about the team and its abysmal failure Down Under last season.

Not only does tour coach and former skipper Intikhab Alam refer to his charges as "mentally retarded people" who "don't know how to wear their clothes and talk in a civilised manner" nor "know that they are representing their country", but:

"And not content with his criticism of how they appeared in public, Alam cited the team’s Sri Lankan physiotherapist to report on the innovative ways adopted by Pakistani players in spaces where they should have been left alone. The leaks of the statements before the inquiry committee suffer on account of bad transcription but what the veteran Pakistani national trainer appeared to be upset that his wards were not ‘toilet-trained’."

Ewwwww. Imagination goes wild. The mind boggles. The stomach churns. The gag reflex kicks in.

One never realized what else Saeed Ajmal and others might have been 'dropping' when all those catches were going down at the T20 World Cup match against England two days ago. No wonder Shahid Afridi was so 'pissed off.' And it does add a whole new meaning to the Pakistan team 'shitting bricks' against Australia. Quite apt, then, that this report should have been 'leaked', wouldn't you say?


Anonymous said...

Pakistan can't win in any field as long NaHoosaT is ruling over this country.

Anonymous said...

Pakistan women team also lost to Indian women team by 9 wickets in women's T20 cup. Bad day for Pakistan.

But every day is bad for Pakistan. Yesterday, they lost to India in hockey (4-2).

Monkey said...

I was the worst news to read in the morning...and that too the morning of a match.

Anonymous said...

but here's the interesting question: do XYZ's puns on the issue at hand constitute "toilet humor"? :)

Arselona said...

What are you guys talking about ..? i dont get it ..