Sunday, July 18, 2010

Why A Time Delay on Live Calls Is A Good Idea

If you don't know the television phenomenon known as Mathira, you have obviously been living on a different planet than the rest of Pakistan for the last two years. Or at least the rest of lewd, young, male Pakistan in any case. Starting off as a limber-limbed yoga instructor on morning TV and moving on as a deliberately coquettish veejay on Vibe TV, she soon became the one reason some people religiously watched that channel. She also became known as the "Gujji Gujji Girl", a title derived from the gibberish combination of sounds she adopted as her takia kalam for some unknown reason, right before she usually blew a kiss to her excited / excitable audiences. She has entire sleazy blogs and a number of Facebook fan pages devoted to her, and probably more Youtube clips than you can count and now hosts a show (probably aptly) titled "Love Indicator."

Mathira: suggestive enough for you yet?

A friend sent me the following clip from Vibe TV with the claim that this must be a first for Pakistani TV. Unfortunately, it isn't. Although I have not been able to identify the timeline for this particular clip, in a quick search I came across at least two or three similar instances of live calls gone wrong from other programmes involving Mathira... which suggests to me that this may be some sort of policy of sleazy leniency encouraged by the head honchos at Vibe.

In any case, just in case you think the mainstream channels are where the action is at (it isn't, believe me, try also some of the Sindhi and Punjabi entertainment channels), here's the clip that should explain in general terms why a time delay on live broadcasts is generally a good idea. At least if you're not into encouraging a certain sort of viewer interaction...

I have to say, however, that, for whatever it's worth, one must admire the poise of Mathira. She should not have been put in that situation in the first place but she handled it as best as she could on live TV. Somehow I don't think this is the last time she'd have to do it.


aynalif said...

I guess i am living on another planet and have not been exposed to Mathira but kudos to her for an excellent response. I actually had to do a double take and replay what the guy said on live TV. That Mathira managed to keep her cool is amazing.

Agreed, there should be a time delay on such live programs to avoid our version of wardrobe malfunctions.

Vagabond said...

Wait a second, XYZ. Its like saying, suicide bombings can happen if it must but it shouldnt be shown on tv.

Maybe a little exaggerated, but my point is that why show such programmes on tv anyway. How the hell is PEMRA allowing such explicit stuff on tv. Whats left is that the rest of the failed channels would follow suit and Vibe's lucrative business model and hire a glorified, street girl as a host and make money out of it.

I dint understand why your emphasis was on time-delay rather than the show itself. I'd be writing post about it soon. Do read.

Mackers said...

What kind of dumbass analogy is that. A little exaggerated? The reason a time delay works is because on any show you will always have the odd utpatang batein by a certain section. You will always have some saying inappropriate things, whether it be to Mathira or Nadia Khan. As long as a girl isn't wearing dupatta, they are open game for closet taliban. What will you ask PEMRA to do then, ban all girls without dupattas? Then the spectrum will further shift right and anyone not wearing dupatta 'appropriately' will be open game.

Explicit stuff? glorified street-girl? Hahahaha
Maybe glorified mullahs like yourself should stop preaching and not watch, if you have a problem. Guess what, in life there are a host of things you find explicit. Maybe if you want to avoid them, don't go looking for them. See a channel you don't like? Flip channels! And please don't try give me rubbish about how humari youth aur humare bache kharab ho jain gay. There is such a thing as parental control. People that wouldn't think twice if given the chance to move abroad, curse the same things in Pakistan, that they would find overseas.

The fact that you might even try equate suicide bombings to this provides evidence of your lunacy. You know the type of people that make calls to chat shit, they are the very same that believe that yeh toh besharam hai isko kuch bhi kaho. In other words, the mullah type of thinking

Anonymous said...

omg she's brilliant!!! and yes, vagabond needs to go frustration-nikalofy somewhere too :)

Anonymous said...

But that guy was sounding so polite and shy till that point !!

Anonymous said...

It's like he lost his patience with her irritating "aur aur aur" chimes :P
Aynalif is right though. she handled is quite well.

Xeb said...

Hahaha, Mathira is the poor man's Meera.

Rehman said...


Saad Ghauri said...

Can't watch the video, will someone please transcribe what the caller said that was inappropriate?

Vagabond said...

Hey Saad, maybe Mackers could add subtitles to the video since he thinks the spectrum would shift righward if such programmes are banned.

On the flip side what he fails to realise is that the spectrum would also shift leftward if its not taken care of. Then such programmes would set the benchmark and because it sells, other low-budget channels would take a step further.

And then he talks about parental control. It tells alot about his upbringing in a world where all parents know about parental-control. What about not so sensible parents? Somebody also told me about little girls calling on her show and telling her 'Mathira mein apke jaisa banna chati hoon'.

And dude stop giving me this new-age 'live and let live' bullshit. Your comment makes sense for an 18 year old, advocating freedom of media and the utopian let-live philosophy. But if you're older than you need to stop hanging out with people who love to discuss and support the legalise-alcohol and let-live arguments vehemently.

Parents live in Pahar Kanj and Liaqatabad dont know about parental control. Even if they do, they're not sensible enough to stop their children from watching such programmes.

Then you also talk about moving abroad and finding such stuff abroad.

"People that wouldn't think twice if given the chance to move abroad, curse the same things in Pakistan, that they would find overseas."

I detest Paris Hilton and her reality shows as much as I hate Mathira. So, your argument of 'being okay with such stuff abroad' is completely illegitimate. Just because somethings American and screwed up doesnt mean its justified. I

I really hope your're no older than 18 because only then I'd call you sensible for your age.

PS- you also sound like a huge Paris Hilton fan. 'Facebook Like'

Umair J said...

I really can't stop laughing. the flow of it all makes it so much funnier.

Mackers said...


Nobody gives a damn about your notion of 'sensible' parenting. You are not gonna be deciding for anyone what the sensible way for them to parent is. Yeah, alright, my upbringing was at fault. But,if someone like you came along and decided to tell my parents how to be sensible, they would go to work on you with a danda, faster than you can scream 'mommy'

Oh, and somebody also told me about little girls calling on her show and telling her 'Mathira mein apke jaisa banna bilkul nahi chati hoon'. Apparently, one of them was you.

And, 'live and let live' is "new-age"? Maybe if you ventured outside you little nukar in mullahpur, you would realize it's not all about 'kill and kill some more' or even 'don't let live and subjugate'

Anyways, it doesn't even matter, the fact is PEMRA isn't your daddy's jagir. Sad day for you :)

Mackers said...

Mathira: Hello, Asalamalaikum
Caller: Hello, Walikumsalam
M: Hello, how are you?
C: Jee bilkul theek thaak
M: Kya hora hai?
C: Uh, aap ka program dekh raha tha main
M: Aur kya hora hai?
C: Aur kuch nahi. Main bas dekh raha tha aap ka program ....aaj aap bahut achi lag rahi hain
M: *does the adaab gesture* Aur?
C: Aur aap bahut achi lag rahi hain
M: Aur aur aur ?
C: Or, uh, aap ka progam mujhe bahut acha lagta hai
M: Aur aur aur ?
C: Uh, aap mujhe bahut achi lagti hain
M: Aur aur aur ?
C: Aaj aap nay kapray bahut ache pahne hain
M: Aur aur aur ?
C: Uh..aur bahut hi beautiful lag rahi hain
M: Aur?
C: Ehh, uhh.........Aapkay mumay mujhe choos nay hain
M: Haaan? *shocked*
M: Extremely niyat kharab hai, banda pesh agaya hai, and that’s sad that’s sad that’s sad. Pakistan, itnay frustrated tussi ho, jao apni begum ke paas, begum nahi hai? Shaadi karo ya kuch karo, apni frustration nikalo yaar. Live jehga nahi hot bitwaa frustration nikal neh kay liye

Reminds me of the calls Howard Stern's people would make to news channels, in America. Too funny :)

Anonymous said...

I think she handled it extremely well. Very suave and had her wits about her.

I'm not defending the guy and don't want to use the logic that rapists use but "She was asking for it!" (aur,aur,aur???)

Vagabond said...

There is no point have this discussion here. I have gauged from your comments, you have not even hit puberty yet. Have a good day.

Mackers said...

Uncle Jee, go gauge the size of your wife's burqa :)

Anonymous said...

Haha anonymous 4:25 you are funny :)

Anonymous said...

aur aur aur....ok some guy in a cave in Afghanistan who has not has had his boy for a year now a woman will do....

Anonymous said...


Admit it, Mackers had a better argument than you did.

Why do you think Mackers hasn't hit puberty yet? Because she/he writes better than you do?

You seem to have some real problems with reality.

Ana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ana said...

Hahaha well with all her suggestive "aur aur aur"...can you really blame the sleazeballl for blurting out what was on his mind??

Not exactly blaming Mahira here but with all that "aur aur aur" it was kinda expected :P

she handled it pretty well after it...that little speech was hilarious!

Vagabond said...

Anonymous, seriously. He's talking about parental control. It's beyond hilarious how micro his way of approaching things is.

Writes better than me? Again, thanks for reinforcing my puberty-argument. You seem like one of his legalise-alcohol-legalise-pubs supporting friend.

Wish you all the best in this puberty-to-adolescence transition. Ta Ta.

Mackers said...

I agree with Vagabond, my way of thinking is "micro." He knows how to solve everyone's problems. He will go 'macro' on us. He will start in Pakistan by banning all the TV programmes, and other stuff, he finds explicit. Then, he will take his jihad global, and teach the world the harms of 'explicit' stuff and the correct ways of parenting. He will make the Orwellian Big Brother look like a weak-sauce jackass. He will start with Asia, and all the surrounding countries including Japan, Korea, Singapore, China, India, and etc. He will continue on to the middle-east: Dubai (UAE), Qatar, and the Gulf, in general. Saudi and Iran, he has already convinced so no problems there. Europe and the Americas will be a bit tough, but he will get there. Any naysayers will be promptly lectured and refuted with the indubitable argument that they are stuck in puberty and should grow up. With such supreme logic, all and sundry will be convinced. From there, global domination is his. Sensible parenting for the world! Muahahahahaha, Vagabond khush hua.
Please don't try convincing Vagabond with "new-age" logic such as 'live and let live.' Vagabond "vehemently" opposes that. And please do read his blog, Vagabond has spent many late nights reading the Oxford English Dictionary, and his hard work shouldn't go to waste.

Vagabond said...

Listen buddy, you need to take your SouthPark-inspired definition of 'macro', which according to you means sweep-conquering the entire world, somewhere else. Probably to Mathira's show, which might multiply its viewership and earn you some royalty. You could use the money earned to open up more channels, import cheap laboured sex workers from Africa as hosts to provide our country's men some 'Live-Phone-Sex-And-Some-Action'. Ohh yeah, actually you could use this as a name for one of your shows.

And yeah, you schematic kid, where did Jihad come from in this discussion? That was cute-logic. Good one. You thought, just because I support banning of such programmes, I am a Jihadi, with a beard longer than Osama's, holding a danda in my hand and hitting all Burqua-less women. Love your stoner-creativity. You could also try working for Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

Lets address this too. It is not because of any religous opinions I hold that I am of this view, but based on social norms and values that you clearly would'nt know of. I dont blame you. Seriously, I dont. You've spent half your life categorising people and assigning them tags and the rest on Facebook.

Well, I also dont know where Oxford English Dictionary came in in this conversation. Now that you have, let me tell you this. Had you ever read books in your life, you wouldnt have to go to everytime. By watching SouthPark, FamilyGuy, American Dad and LOVE INDICATOR, you can only learn enough English language to come up with illogical, illegitimate cheap shots for lame comments on blogs you stumble upon by mistake, while looking for Love Indicator's official website.

Have a great day.

PS- dont forget to watch Love Indicator tonight.

Fischer said...

Although i dont completely agree with vagabond, but still his argument is better. i mean mackers, you dont know how to reason. The jihad reference is irresponsible and ignorant.

I personally think mathira kind of shows are already sweeping the tv industries so they cant be banned. but giving pakistanis a 'life' would be a good thing to do :D

Mackers said...

Uncle Jee, you inspired in me such love for cheap shots that I haven't looked back. If you are searching South Park for the definition to macro, then I can only apologize. I didn't mean to confuse you. Try any standard English dictionary and you will be well on your way. However, I still can't understand what the hell "schematic kid" means. Are you suggesting that I resemble a diagram. I don't know whether to be offended or pleased.

Also, I am not the best in mathematics but I am reasonably sure that if I become a viewer of Mathira's show then I will add to and not multiply the viewership. Aur agar aap ko koi tareeka pata hai uss se royalty lehneh ka toh batain. Baron seh kuch seekhnay ko toh mileh.

Aur, sir, I really thought you were against "how micro" my "way of approaching things" is. Why think so micro and restrict yourself to "sweep-conquering" Pahar Kanj and Liaqatabad, 'the dens of unsuitable parents.' I know you are so much better than that. Think global uncle jee! I know, with some effort, you can do it. After taking over PEMRA, you can take it worldwide. Our first multinational! Oh the possibilities!

orezavi said...

Sadness. (I need a shirt with that written on it)

Poor lady. Sad chap. I was waiting for her to bring in his mother. Great show of poise indeed.

What a pathetic nation we are.

Ahsan said...

Okay, two things: one, this woman is clearly awesome. I didn't know who she was before this (sorry Pyalas, I guess that either means I've been living on a different planet than the rest of Pakistan or I am not a lewd, young Pakistani male). That response was epic.

Second, this Mackers fellow/chick needs to get a blog.

Ammar - Ed said...

Mackers, you are really funny.

Vagabond, you need to come up with a better (or at least funnier) critique of social liberalism than a rant about the follies of youth, Liaqatabad's parental shortcomings and american sitcoms.

And yes, what a Mathira. What ay.

Anonymous said...

She knows the type of people that watch her show . . . once chanced upon her show and she was jiggling her chest. Ugh!

Anonymous said...


She jiggled her chest and you found it ugh?

What is wrong with you - old age or some kind of physical inadequacy?

'Chanced upon her show' - I bet you did.


As the man said, you need a blog. Make sure you get jihadis like Vagabond to comment.

Anonymous said...

@ Anon8:04
Haha i'm a girl so not my idea of entertainment

Thinker said...

What argumentum ad hominem by Vagabond and Mackers. Both want to make a point but not without personal attacks and attempts to offend each other. To their credit, they are succeeding at that. Moreover they don't seem to know each other personally so just building on their perception of a stereotypical behaviour. Way to go!

Anonymous said...


Oh so you were jealous. Perfectly understandable.

Stop watching the show on the sly :)

Mackers said...

Ahsan, Ammar, and those anonymous folks that wanted me to start a blog, I did.

It has been hastily put together and I don't have any more time today to fix it up, but will do soon.

Tazeen said...

I dont know if you people have noticed but most of the women here said that she was asking for it. Unconscious subversion of minds, subhanallah!

Vagabond said...

Observation, spot-on Tazeen. Did you read the entire thread of these comments? Great work.

kona berwalla said...

I agree with XYZ, Mathira should not have been put in this situation (for her own sake and for the sake of all of us - the shocked audience). But her response was epic. Good work Mathira!

Three things though:
1) When you are up on stage, under the spotlight, you have to be a tough cookie, as it is inevitable that you'd come across a nutter. I think beyond the level of hearing crass words, we are all shocked because we are not used to seeing girls put in difficult situations.

2) I will evade directly answering the question about whether she was asking for it or not. It sounds a bit like Sheikh Hilaly blaming uncovered meat for having lured in the cats! (his analogy, not mine - don't flame me). It seems to me that there is a very fine line that separates "she was asking for it" from "he was looking for some". There are far too many variables to reach a conclusion that would fit everyone on a general level. However, in this case, I think Mathira answered it pretty well, "Live jehga nahi hot bitwaa frustration nikal neh kay liye".

3) Let's also spare a thought for our lewd caller, I think there's every chance he got flustered by the repeated "aur, aur, aur". As someone above said, he sounded so shy until that point. But couldn't hold back blurting out what he had in his subconscious.

Indian Pundit said...


The girl handled the situation very well. Very matured response albeit a funny one.

Hats off to Mathira.

Vagabond said...

XYZ said...

I had thought at one point of stepping in and stopping the love-fest that was the Vagabond-Mackers exchange. But am glad it's over and both have their own blogs to tear each other apart to their heart's content.

Just want to say one thing to Vagabond: Among other things you wrote:

"Its like saying, suicide bombings can happen if it must but it shouldnt be shown on tv."

"What he fails to realise is that the spectrum would also shift leftward if its not taken care of."

"dude stop giving me this new-age 'live and let live' bullshit."

" 18 year old, advocating freedom of media and the utopian let-live philosophy. But if you're older than you need to stop hanging out with people who love to discuss and support the legalise-alcohol and let-live arguments vehemently."

"Parents live in Pahar Kanj and Liaqatabad dont know about parental control. Even if they do, they're not sensible enough to stop their children from watching such programmes."

"You seem like one of his legalise-alcohol-legalise-pubs supporting friend."

"You could use the money earned to open up more channels, import cheap laboured sex workers from Africa as hosts.."

Epic man, epic. Just one word of advice for your blog, once you've figured out how to post without importing an entire comments section from another blog: Proof-read.

Vagabond said...

Interesting. In my defense, the entire purpose of writing the post was to highlight the love fest between me and Mackers, hence the copy pasting.

One more thing. I might be very very illogical, lunatic, non-sensical in my comments- how sensible, logical, viable and practical was Mackers' approach? Parental control? Still cracks me up everytime.

Mackers said...


I am glad that I made you crack up.

However, I feel that you have done me wrong by not including one of my comments.

Good luck with the blogging thing :)

Vagabond said...

I havent noticed any exculsion of your comment, but I might have, unknowingly. It wasn't intentional. I sincerely apologise for that.

Difference in opinion and the comment-war has done both of us some good too, you see. Went through your blog. Great work. Keep it up and good luck with all your future endeavors.

I will edit my post soon to include your comment.

Vagabond said...


Anonymous said...

I guess hats off to Mathira ,it was embarrassing situation but she handled it very well?
Anchoring live telecast is not easy ,I believe she is breath of fresh air to TV channels, atleast we don,t have to watch that Fatty Nadia khan show anymore ???

Khalid FAROOQ said...

Apart from the blog topic, the responses have been very interesting to nread too. While this type of vulgarity is now available live to people, we have long been putting under the carpet or denying it. I think we should be more concerned about the factors behind the obviously flirtous 'aor aor aor' from the presenter and the response from the guy on telephone. To me, he didn't seem to have prepared this. She could have talked about something else. But she pursuaded him to say something. We are down to a lower level of morality. But, do we accept it?

Anonymous said...

I have seen a number of clips of Mathira and I have to conclude that the programme is deliberately designed to be so. The time delay could have been introduced after one such episode, but it was not.

Rana Jehanzeb said...

Well guys here I'll just say we are appreciating what is not meant to be and also with these type of clothing that mathira wears we r not resembling modernism but making the world to laugh at us that these types of street people are now the VJs of Channels of Muslim Country. AHhhh...Pakistan was taken to be Muslim Country with Muslim Laws but now we are Modern... :(