Monday, December 13, 2010

Open Letter to Chief Justice of Pakistan

Dear Honorable Chief Justice of Pakistan Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhry,


I am writing this open letter to you because the righting of wrongs is avowedly a part of your movement for judicial reform, and the matter in question must be particularly close to your heart, being as it is close to your first and last names too.

I read in the news today that a doctor in Hyderabad was arrested, and a case registered against him under the Blasphemy Act, when he threw the business card of a medical representative with the first name of Muhammad into the dustbin. Now I know that some people are thinking well that’s one small step back for all Pakistani Muslims, and one giant leap forward for all Pakistani Medical Representatives, but I for one wept with joy at the news.

You see, your exalted lordship, if indeed this report is true, I see in this ingenious application of a tragically misunderstood law…the Blasphemy Act is meant to protect the Quran and the Holy Prophet (PBUH) from ridicule, not expose them to it, I don’t know why some buffoons just don’t seem to get that… I see in this ingenious application of a tragically misunderstood law the seeds of the Great Pakistani Muslim Revival. Now that a precedent has been set, some of the biggest thorns in the nation’s side can be effectively removed, and some of its most cacophonous trumpets silenced.

I have listed below some of the cases that merit your most immediate, most esteemed, attention. I am sure, once the enthusiasm my idea will inevitably kindle in you has been communicated to all the appendages of the state, the judiciary and the general population, others will come forth with more scenarios too. Then, we can begin to cleanse the face of this nation, follow it up with some aggressive exfoliation, and enjoy the beatific effect of the spiritually moisturized smile we subsequently share with the world.


1) Any cricket player, official, reporter, commentator, spectator, umpire, random passer by who has ever expressed reservations about Muhammad Yousuf, Muhammad Amir or Muhammad Asif’s character in writing should be arrested and charged under the Blasphemy Act. That will really clean up the game.

2) Any school/college/kindegarden/madrassah teacher, principal, administrator or instructor who writes a negative comment in the report card of any student with the name of Muhammad should be arrested and charged under the Blasphemy Act. There should be a particularly harsh sentence for the sentence 'Muhammad is a bright child but is easily distracted and lacks the ability to concentrate on his work.'

3) Any college, school or kindergarten student who mistreats pages containing the name and verses of Allama Muhammad Iqbal (mistreatment including but not limited to burning, tearing, ripping, doodling in the margins or making planes out of or – in the case of the kindergarten kinder, eating) should be arrested and charged under the Blasphemy Act. Since the burden of proof of innocence is on the accused, the learned judge in charge of cases featuring minors must be hardened against tears, tantrums and wanton cries of ‘dudu biskit! dudu biskit!’

4) Any tandoorwala, paanwala, umroodwala, bhuttawala, chanawala, assortedwala who wraps his offerings in paper that contains the name Muhammad should be arrested and charged under the Blasphemy Act.

5) Any traffic policeman, immigration official or station house officer of any thana attempting to write a challan or file an FIR against any person with the name Muhammad on his driver’s license, passport or NIC should be arrested and charged under the Blasphemy Act.

6) Anyone coming into contact with books, pamphlets, promotional literature that contain the name Muhammad, or cards advertising services of aalims offering cures for love, impotence, curses, memory loss or age that happen to be named Muhammad, without showing said books, pamphlets, promotional literature or cards adequate respect (for the purposes of this argument let that be holding them below navel level or tossing them carelessly on to a seat or – in the case of the cards – out of the window) should be arrested and charged under the Blasphemy Act.

7) Any woman who has received a passionate letter from an admirer named Muhammad and, wanting to conceal it from the prying eyes of her younger siblings and/or parents, wadded it up into a ball and thrown it into a dustbin should be arrested and charged under the Blasphemy Act. (This, your lordship, I consider a particularly important lesson as it will teach our women to be wary of a significant percentage of the male population, urge them to toss their lovers but keep their letters, and hence do that little extra bit we need to safeguard their morals).

8) Any columnist, critic, reporter, journalist or opinion maker who questions your judgment in opening these floodgates should be arrested and charged under the Blasphemy Act.

52 comments:

Anonymous said...

Praise be upon you, MSS.

Anonymous said...

WOW ! By this logic a judge sentencing a man named after the PROPHET (PBUH) will also be committing blasphemy.

Anonymous said...

Where can I fill the form for becoming a prospective in the long list of people wanting to marry MSS?

Ahsan said...

Brilliant MSS, i bow before you.

Umair J said...

So are we just going with M or do the other 98/99 names count as well?

AA said...

O boy Umair J, you have a valid point too. I remember a neighbor once told us never to scold my two year old nephew in disrespectful terms because he is named after one of the Prophet's names (not Muhammad).
MSS, please add all those prospective disrespectful mothers and aunts to your list as well.

Akhtar rind said...

Dear Pyala.. Thank you very much for writing this article. Yesterday as I saw this news, I tweeted you for your attention. Even I tried to write something on my Facebook. My first name is Muhammad and now I am worrying that any time some one can file a Blasphemy case as I am writing many things on my social pages which can annoy any one.

Muhammad said...

Good Post, btw i am not the real guy!

Nadir El-Edroos said...

Hmm...this explains alot especially since Zia's first name was Muhammad.

But in all seriousness, by associating office disagreements with blasphemy and the stature of the Holy Prophet, these so called defenders of the faith are a source of embarrassment! Pleas spare us!

Anonymous said...

I want to say something to our current and retired Generals... LOOK AT WHAT YOU AND THE EXTREMIST ORGANIZATIONS CREATED BY YOU HAVE DONE TO MY COUNTRY!
PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON US. I BEG OF YOU.

sanakazmi said...

brilliant.

but can you please add mohammad sami to the list in 1)?

Anonymous said...

priceless. hahah. esp the bit about the woman with the love letter.

UJ: The 98/99 names bit would be for God, not the Prophet... read more?

Umair J said...

@Anon654:

http://www.islam786.org/99namesofmuhammad.htm

Not feeling too smug now, eh? Yeah, thought so...

Tayyab said...

i almost sh** myself at 'dudu biskit!' :D

AI said...

Can someone confirm that the blasphemy law of Pakistan was replaced by the Blasphemy Law of the Imperial India, where ridiculing the King was a crime? In a time before computers, all they did was find all and replace all???

@Nadir, yes Zia Ul Haq became Muhammad Zia ul Haq and Nawaz Sharif became Muhammad Nawaz Sharif after becoming head honchos of the country.

@cafepyala, great post

Anonymous said...

Awesome dude !!!!what a post .....

yawar said...

I sure hope the CJP has a sense of humor and sarcasm, otherwise your post will get us kafir liberals into more shit than we already are. :D

Tahir Imran Mian said...

I support this letter to CJ but I don't expect anything in return from the CJ because he is not at all competent to address this issue. This issue will only be resolved by political will.

Yesterday Salman Taseer tweeted in response to Pakistani puppet ambassador siting in Washington Haqqani that "Zardari (God forbid) is lberal & want the blasphemy law reviewed".

I think it is about time PPP realised they have anything to do with liberlaism. ZA Bhutto started this nasty law which was later used by Zia. In Pakisan's history the biggest crime was 1973 decleration of Ahmadis non Muslim & that was the begining. PPP & Bhuttos have blood on their hands, they can't get out of the curse of 1973. So much of blood have been wasted and hundred of Ahmadis being butchered and all this blood is on the neck of Bhuttos and PPP. If they can not deliver then no one else could.
PERIOD

On a different note it is a golden opportunity for Bhuttos and PPP and all the relevant dynastic off shoots to clear their name and repeal this law and bring a positive change in the political scene.

www.twitter.com/tahirimran
www.tahirimran.com

yawar said...

Also, all the rapists, theives, muderers, etc. called Muhammad in jails should be released.

yawar said...

@Tahir
Z A. Bhutto started this nasty law? Where have you been getting your history lessons from, mate? Zaid Hamid? If you mean the Ahmadi law, then you right.

The law was enacted by the Zia regime alone in 1987. Get a grip.

Anonymous said...

i say this every year and am going to say it again. we cannot govern ourselves. it's time to call the queen back.

Tayyab Mahmood said...

@Tahir i fully endorse your views abt PPP & CJP...

I have written a letter to CJP about NRO judgment and send it via courier & email. Also contacted via telephone his Registrar Judicial about my reservations he committed to address them in written. As expected no response receive till to-date...

& PPP will not repeal this LAW they are docuhebag.

Faiz said...

Brilliant! My five-year old daughter is Khadeeja. We will be careful in calling her DEEJA in public. Religion Islam needs to be liberated from these goons.
I solute you for you blogpost.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant !!!!

Pervaiz Musharraf should also be booked as he degraced Iftikhar Mohammad Chaudhry and Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif :)))))

Engineer said...

Why there is no news about this in Pakistan papers ???????
I have checked on the google and all the links are of India or UK

Qehar Alood said...

Now if a newspaper reports: Mohammad Amir took a bribe to bowl No-balls, who'll be charged with blasphemy: Mohammad Amir or the newspaper? I ask this question because with a name like his should the bowler have done something like that or the paper is culpable for reporting it?

Anonymous said...

Attaboy/girl.

Anonymous said...

@Engineer: I read the story in both The News and The Express Tribune today. So it's wrong to say that Pakistani papers have not covered it

Anonymous said...

Any person named after Muhammad should be allowed a dozen marriages regardless of the 4 marriage per man act!

Tahir Imran Mian said...

@Yawar - I am very sure about the history lessons I was getting I don't know where you got your history.

ZA Bhutto comitted the biggest crime in the history of Pakistan by declaring Ahamdis non Muslims, so I hold him responsible for anything happening after. He was the biggest jerk who let the Islamists and fundamentalists go on a ride on his ass to save his precious ass. He got votes from Ahmadis in the previous elections and then declared them non Muslim. All Zia did was put more cosmetics on the foundations of the same law. Bhutto provided the dirty base and Zia built the building, so in Persian if the base is wrong no matter the wall goes to sky it will be wrong.

Bhutto was moderate and yet he took the place of God and declared them non Muslim, If you read Zia's law all it's foundations trace back to Bhutto's amendment.

Mirza Tahir Ahmed the fourth head of Ahmadi movement wrote in his book that after doing this shit in public Bhutto requested for meeting and when they met somewhere in Jehlum or Islamabad, Bhutto was looking around and when asked by Mirza sahib what is he after he replied "I am looking for a Qura'an if I can find one and swear on it that I don't believe on this law and so on." Please read his book for further details.

Finally please understand as understanding is a blessing and don't jump the gun because you don't know what you are talking about yourself. I know the history as much as it is needed.

Gasht said...

Buddy your ass is grass.. You're getting 10 to 20 for contempt of the honourable court. I'd come visit but you'll be history at the hands of some pious sphincter..

Javed said...

Thair, I did mention that if you meant that Bhutto was resposible for the Ahmadie fiasco, then you are correct.

But your post, at least in the begining, did sound as if you were blaming Bhtto for Blasphemy Law.

Nevertheless, I agree that Bhutto tried to be clever by giving some inches away to the mullahs just to keep them quiet - but as the Jamat Islami and Zia proved, if you gave them an inch, they'll snatch a yard and then hang with it.

But let's not really begin with Bhutto. Let's really begin with the great Liaqat Ali Khan's 1949 Objectives Resolution. Eventually the the source of all that went wrong with religion and its people in this country.

Ali said...

What will that jackass CJP do? Mila huwa hai sab kay saath!

http://secularpakistan.wordpress.com/2010/08/20/why-is-cjp-afraid-of-secularism/

Anonymous said...

This country was made primarily for the Muslims and the other communities are also permitted to live in it. Islam has the most just and beautiful laws on protection of the minorities.

The law in question is not wrong in any way. Its use is sometimes wrong. Just like a knife, you can cut a fruit with it or kill a person, its upto the user.

If the doctor had to throw the card, he should have torn the part of the card which had the Prophet's (PBUH) name.

The lobby promoting the repealing of this law is basically Ahmedi's & Jews. You are free to not believe me but this is what it is.

Anonymous said...

Uproriously hilarious it would have been , had it not followed on the heels of the absurd news item involving the doctor and the medrep.May this prove to be the last straw on the camel's back.

Anonymous said...

I know about 20 Muhammad's, Am I in trouble ?

Anonymous said...

anonymous above,

depends...have you been mean to all of them?

CremeBrulee said...

Maybe it's time to change my name to Muhammad. And I thought just Malaysian Ulamas were crazy.

Anonymous said...

In Islam all depends on Niyat, does anyone know what the doctor was thinking when he binned the card? NO... So how can he be proven guilty? Half the middle eastern world is called either Mohammad or Abdullah, when they have fights, you can well imagine the barrage of exchanges, that means 50% of the population will be hung. We muslims of the subcontinent while looking for the tree miss the forest. Since we think we are never wrong hence we will never improve.... this is how we will remain. such is our destiny.

Anonymous said...

@Anon944
So, the doctor should have torn the piece of visiting card containing name 'muhammad' before throwing it into dustbin. Are you doing the same? There are thousand of newspapers, magazines, wedding cards etc. which contain name 'muhammad'. Surely, you must have encountered your fair share of this printed materiel in hundreds, if not thousands, in your life.
What have you done with those printed papers before throwing them ore selling them to raddiwala? I am sure you must have checked each and every page and para, of course with the help of magnifying glass, to make sure that every piece of paper containing name 'muhammad' is safely removed from the rest of the printed materiel. And I am also sure that you must have ensured that the torn off/cut off piece of papers with name muhammad are kept in safe places such as bank lockers, so that, they are never desecrated even by mistake.
We Indians need not worry about your country any more, with people like you she is finished.

Tilsim said...

Why stop at Mohammed? Why not also anyone called Ahmed and Mustafa and nabi?? They all need protection from affront whether real or just perceived to be real!! Don't spare my nani (may her soul rest in peace) ..Kill,kill, kill - our kitten like pristine innocence is at stake!

Anonymous said...

My basic issue with blasphemy law is this: Since when does Allah or his Prophet need the likes of us (Pakistanis!) to protect their honour? We haven't been able to protect our own. We have spectacularly failed in every department both as a nation and as individuals. Look at our grand economy, our brilliance in scientific achievements (bar the one Ahmedi nobel laureate) - not to forget our courageous feats in the battle field (90,000 Pak faujis gracefully surrendering to our lowly, cowardly, infidel enemy in 1971 - I don't think such a large scale surrender of well-fed, well armed soldiers has ever happened even during the world wars).
SK

Anonymous said...

i totally agree with MSS there is a lot more going in our nation to be considered

Anonymous said...

The Blasphemy law needs amendment for sure but what does that have to do with the Qadianis being non-muslim declaration?
Why are you people bringing that up here? Oh right you are the affected party.

Well maybe we should have a referendum on the issue if the unanimous vote of the assembly wasnt satisfying enough for you.
Lets do a referendum in all the muslim countries of the world and see where the people stand on the issue.

Anonymous said...

Well thought out , Well written and Hilarious!! But I think you are being unduly harsh regarding Pakistan or Pakistanis because I think it's more of a South Asian thing(Read : India,Pakistan, Bangladesh,Nepal,Sri Lanka etc etc). We as whole tend to sensationalize the trivial and trivialize the sensational . And yes like another commentator made a moot point , We are incapable of governing ourselves;so bring the British back. Reminds me of the time when Churchill was asked by the British parliament to give the the subcontinent its independence , and he supposedly replied ;"I will,but then who will save them from themselves?" So sad, So prophetic , so true.

Naeem said...

This anonymous person who advocates about having a referendum about wether the Ahamadis are Muslims or not should go one step further and also hold a referendum in the whole world wether Muslsims are primitive terrorist or not!!! People who are brainwashed by the Saudi wahabism mindset will never make any progress in this world or the next. Has this person ever assesed why the Muslsim countries and Muslsims are a joke in the civilized world? Why are they given a rough time in every country they wish to eneter? Black gold , the worlds most expensive resource oil has been used to keep the people backward and brainwashed instead of providing them with facts and knowledge. Only Allah can decide who is a Muslim and who is not!!! And nations that play with Allah's power will go down the drain, as we see it happeneing with Pakistan at the moment.

Garima said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Garima said...

Great write up MSS. Real Kickass!!
And now for my own curiosity-
With all due respect to the supreme one what is with the whole Islamic world? I sometimes fail to understand why someone's identity of being a Muslim is far more important than that of being a Pakistani (or whatever the nationality be, even Indian for that matter, though I havent heard of people being punished for throwing business cards in trash), a well educated, sane minded human being. Why is it more important to protect Allah and his identity and let his creation, the human beings perish. I have never understood why does allmighty (whatever god, deity that we bow are heads to) need us puny humans to save his name and protect his honor. Its like my mother bullying my brother to get married.."You are going to carry the family name forward and protect its honor beta" We will go any length to make sure our god is repected but we really dont care much about the fellow humans. Too busy to please the gods i guess. Too much time on the hands of those who rule to sit and decide what is blasphemous and a suitable punishment for the same but they dont have the time to save the honor of their nation. These guys are doing nothing but fooling poor citizens of the country by diverting their attention to such issues so that no one can stand up and say hey we need food and we need schools and yes we need to live and not blown up in mosques and riots. Jeez!!
Someone please tell me is the aam admi in Pakistan so gullible and Allah so vulnerable. Where is reason?

For how long will the top brass keep boiling the same water and fool innocent citizens. Dont you guys pay taxes? I am sure you do and so you should find the misuse of all that public money being wasted on such issues to be obscene.
P.S. I am sure some of the posters here might call this post as 'pot calling the kettle black' but then I always thought the problem with India is its diversity because the government has to kowtow to all the communities even its just for the votes. Not that we do not have monkeys like Shiv Sena and RSS etc. who would rather kill in the name of god than help in times of calamities but Indians do realise that these outfits do more harm than good.

shahzad said...

Does this now mean that I can no longer abuse the local area pimp who goes by the name of Mohammad Nisar just because he can haul me in for blasphemy due to his 'blessed' name? :(

R Kishore said...

dude .. this is just brilliant .. continue writing bro .. btw you should be arrested cos you have written muhammed in the computer and you have shut it down :)

Anonymous said...

Well nicely done but I have a point here to disagree. Most of the people left comments unaware the fact that using name of Muhammad for making fun is also not an appreciable idea. Muhammad is a respectable name as it belongs to our beloved prophet. No matter what a person does after keeping this name as first, it is his own deeds which will be punished either by law or God. We as Muslims should take extreme care while referring the name of prophet. Similarly it is not a good idea to abuse anyone, so as in the case of name of Muhammad it becomes more sensitive. Deliberate efforts to disrespect the name of Holy Prophet comes under the Blasphemy Law. I remember the name of Rahman Dakat, when people were using the name RAHMAN with Dakait which is itself an example of ignorance and is a matter of Concern. Being Muslim we should know that if we use Allah's any name we must use Abdul with all names of Allah.. But who cares !
Hope it would not hurt the sentiments of above 50 people who commented in favour of MSS.

anthonydavis said...

The law in question is not wrong in any way. Its use is sometimes wrong. Just like a knife, you can cut a fruit with it or kill a person, its upto the user.

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