Phet: What The Papers (Almost) Said

In the face of massive public demand (well, two flattering comments on Cafe Pyala and some faint, barely audible praise overheard at a party), I have decided to massage my massive but fragile ego a bit and re-post as a proper post what I had earlier put up as a comment in XYZ's Phet post. However, being innately generous, I have decided to add some new material to my old comments for the pleasure of my two admirers out there in cyberland. So those fortunate enough to have read my original post skip the first part.

To recap, the original post tucked away in the comments section went like this:

How would our leading English papers report cyclone Phet if it hits Pakistan?

Dawn: Cyclone causes devastation in Sindh, Balochistan; many dead, missing in coastal areas; Zardari, Asma Jahangir, Belgian PM condole;

The News: Is Zardari behind cyclone devastation? Justice Iftikhar's warnings repeatedly ignored; NRO-beneficiaries rejoice as people suffer; Geo first to report calamity

Daily Times: Taseer shocked at cyclone horror in Sindh, Balochistan; PPP rises to the challenge as Nawaz flies off to London; Rana Sanaullah denies Taliban hand; New Hamid Mir recording suggests links; Sarah Taseer Shoaib shuts jewellery outlet for a day in mourning; Puchu's birthday party postponed; US think-tank calls on Pakistan to do more

Express Tribune: DHA suffers calamity as cyclone strikes several phases; panic stations as phet of many drivers, maasis, chowkidaars unknown; tweeters, bloggers and facebookers lose contact with rest of world; hundreds die in far-flung Keamari, Neelum and Shireen Jinnah colonies; colourful-but-deprived fishing villages fear further blow to child rights; Grammar School reunion cancelled

The Nation: Storm destabilises Sindh, Balochistan as Indian, Blackwater conspiracy bears fruit; hundreds die but nuclear assets safe from Hindu and Jewish incursions; Kayani, Hamid Gul shocked; Nawaz would cut short London visit if Kulsoom were better; Nazriya-e-Pakistan, Majid Nizami safe

A bit wet after Phet (source: Boston Globe/ AP)

OK. Now how did the same papers cover the event when it became a non-event, for Karachi at least?

Dawn: Cyclone spares Karachi but causes havoc in Sindh, Balochistan; PM happy for Karachi, on the one hand, sad for rest of province, Balochistan, on the other; Asma escapes catastrophe due to New Delhi seminar engagement; Belgian PM too busy to give Shada Islam reaction

The News: Iftikhar's suo moto action saved Karachi, says Qazi Anwar; only NRO-beneficiaries harmed in freak cyclone: Ansar Abbasi; Why did Zardari's frontman go into the cyclone shelter business in Thatta, Gwadar last month?; Was the cyclone hoax hatched to avoid negative budget reaction, asks Akram Shaikh; Geo first channel to cancel cyclone coverage from Karachi

Daily Times: Taseer says PPP government changed course of cyclone to attract foreign investment to Karachi; US says government should do more for Sindh, Balochistan victims by launching operation in North Waziristan; Taseer challenges Shahbaz to wade through filthy water in Badin; Shahbaz leaves for London to see Kulsoom, sends Rana Sanaullah instead; Sara Taseer reopens jewellery shop but donates a day's takings to Puchu's Balochistan victims' charity ball; Sunday, GT, Business Plus win exclusive rights for coverage of Puchu's event

Express Tribune: Phase V bloggers reunite with Phase VI counterparts after traumatic night of separation; massive relief in DHA, Clifton as cyclone avoids Bayview school, Agha's supermarket; tweeters launch campaign to locate missing Sindhi/Baloch maasis through GPS; absence of Espresso waiters causes immense hardship for customers; Phet of Hawke's Bay huts still worries many bankers; Bad road manners, poor civic sense, pathetic displays of social irresponsibility observed as revelling post-cyclone outsiders flood into Seaview; Thousands feared dead somewhere beyond Kala Pul

The Nation: Badin, Thatta drowning in Black Water, RAW sewage; Indo-US cyclone plot foiled due to Pak Navy's heroic action on high seas; Timely publication of photographs of suspicious foreigners may have deterred storm from destroying Pak financial capital; Hindu, Jewish bankers dismayed; Separatists suffer heavy losses in Balochistan, Sindh, FC men safe;  Nukes, Majid Nizami, Nazriya-e-Pakistan, AQ Khan saved yet again; Shireen Mazari safe too. Pakistan Zindabad!

Waiting for Phet

The approaching cyclone in Karachi has got its residents in a state of dreaded anticipation and nervous excitement. To be sure, if the 'severe tropical cyclone' actually makes landfall as predicted by the Pakistan Met Office, its over 100 km + / hour winds and sea surge (waves) of 4-6 metres could do some serious damage given Karachi's fragile and crumbling infrastructure. Expect flooding, expect power to be knocked out, expect communications to be cut as telephone wires snap and mobile phone towers are damaged, expect a shortage of foodstuffs as supplies and transport are hindered, expect people to be killed by flying debris and electrocutions, expect the city to grind to a halt.

As things stood as of 11a.m. today (source: Pakistan Met Office)

What the approaching storm has shown also, however, is the inability of most of Pakistan's electronic media in not only grasping basic scientific concepts but also to read simple press releases. Not only did it initially not understand that meteorologists can only make predictions based on probability about the movement of the cyclone while it was still 1100 km away, it could not even grasp the idea of naming storms. So Geo at one point, about two days ago, was claiming that the cyclone would not hit Karachi even though the Met Office press release clearly stated that its predictions were for the cyclone to curve towards Karachi after initially moving in a north-west direction from Oman. And various channels were attributing the same cyclone as making landfall simultaneously in Gwadar in western Pakistan and Indian Gujarat in the east while sparing, bizarrely, Karachi and other Sindh coastal areas in between.

But the idea of naming storms with non-scientific names - quite a normal occurrence in the West - is what has really confused the hell out of some in Pakistan's media. The fact that the name has been coined by a regional storm watch centre and is actually a Thai word, "Phet", meaning 'Diamond' has not helped matters. So one reporter I heard on Aaj TV was earnestly telling viewers about how 'whichever country the Diamond cyclone has ever hit in history, has suffered great damage.' As if this particular cyclone is something that has existed forever and keeps being reborn periodically.

Even more confusing for the media and Pakistanis is the fact that "Phet" is apparently pronounced as 'pet' in Thai, which the Met office, to its credit, had been at pains to point out from the beginning. Geo managed to cotton on - even though written in Urdu it looks like they are talking about a tummy ('paet') - but not everyone has been as bothered about pronunciations. And of course some, such as the recently dormant punning headline makers at Express Tribune, just couldn't let it go without having some fun.

So, we had this story from yesterday, detailing that the cyclone, initially expected to make landfall today, would not get here till Sunday, headlined:

"Phet not, cyclone delayed to Sunday"

And today, we have:

"Thatta, Badin 'Phet-up' of the cyclone"

Here are some we could yet see in ET:

1. Headline for story about President Zardari directing local departments to make contigency preparations (he actually said this yesterday, did he really need to say it? If so, God help us): 'Make Preparations Phet-a Phat, Zardari Orders'

2. Headline for story about the sad state of coastal fishermen forced to stay away from their livelihoods for days: 'It's Always Our Phet, Say Dejected Fishermen'

3. Headline for story about DHA Phase 8 residents, most exposed to the cyclone among ET's target market because of the lack of developed surroundings: 'Phase 8 residents say 'Humari Phet Rahi Hai'


Good luck to all.