Showing posts with label bizarre. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bizarre. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Mysteries of the Week

I know, I know. We've been terribly bad. No need to rub it in. But the simple fact of the matter is, things have changed since we began this blog. On the positive side, far more people are keeping tabs on the media in particular and even the media itself has matured and become more self-critical, which takes some of the burden off us and this is something to be celebrated. On the negative side, we have let our own punishing work schedules make us a bit lazy and perhaps also complacent - it's not easy doing things as kaar-e-khair for so long.


In any case, one of the most daunting things is getting back into writing after a fairly lengthy lay-off. Especially, as is always the case with Pakistan, there is so much piled up worthy of commentary. In fact, one of the things that made me hesitate about a number of different posts I wanted to write was because, after such an long absence, I felt the first post should be something truly substantial. I realize, of course, that this was precisely the wrong approach. One really has to ease back into blogging. Furthermore, one should not give two hoots about the morally outraged trolls who inevitably flood every post with their indignation that it is not about what they think should be addressed instead. You know the sort: 'How can you talk about Maya Khan when drones are raining death down from the sky and Memogate threatens to destroy the country?' 'You're writing about drones? What about the genocide of the Baloch Shia!' 'How dare you make fun of maulvis. Why don't you write about the liberal elite scum that have destroyed this country?' You can never win with this lot. But the point is, why should one care what trolls say? You're so concerned, troll, that each and every post is not what you want it to be, why don't you go write about it and leave us the eff alone?

So, with that realization behind me, I present the two great image mysteries of the past week. Look at the following two photographs, both published in The News.

The first is from the March 23 paper, showing the reaction of a crowd assembled in the Arts Council Auditorium watching the Pakistan cricket team securing a last-ball win against Bangladesh in the Asia Cup finals:



The second is from the March 26 paper, showing the reaction of a crowd attending a Karachi mushaira (poetry reading) when suddenly shots rang out outside the venue:



Now, don't you just want to know more about the Uncle in the top picture and the Aunty in the second one (both circled for easy identification)? I mean, in the first photograph, the entire crowd has erupted in jubilation, yet Uncle seems supremely uninvolved, if not downright glum. Was he supporting Bangladesh? If he was, shouldn't he still show some more emotion than he does? Does he play poker? Does he not care about competitive sports? And if so, why is he there?

The second picture is even more of an enigma. Half the audience seems to be on the floor in terror, apparently to save their lives, while a few seem less concerned. But Aunty, oh Aunty, is not even bothering to look around and staring straight ahead at, one assumes, the stage. Was she transfixed by the beauty of the couplet she had just heard? Is she meditating on the metaphysics of a particularly deep ghazal? Or did she have too much Lexotanil before leaving home?

Come on, journalists of The News. Where is your sense of curiosity?

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Point Being?

Some of you may have seen the following ad, which featured prominently in the pages of The Daily Times' Sunday magazine and the Express Tribune Magazine today...




It sort of reminded me of this by-now famous photograph that did the rounds a couple of years ago...



In both cases, I have only one comment to make: 'Why?'


Thursday, September 2, 2010

For When You Just Want To Blow Up Your Fridge

Today's image of zen, comes to you thanks to Twitterer Huma Imtiaz who found it here...


Yes, these are Balochistan Liberation Army (BLA) refrigerator magnets!

Keep in mind that BLA is a shadowy outfit, characterized as a terrorist group by Pakistan, the US and the UK, that nobody ever owns up to being part of. In fact, at times it has also been accused (by Baloch nationalists) of being a figment of Pakistan's security agencies' imagination and (by the Pakistan government) of being a front for the Indian intelligence agency RAW. It is accused of several bomb attacks on military, oil, gas, rail and power installations in Balochistan as well as the killing of security personnel, government servants, policemen, teachers, doctors, labourers and foreigners as well as a campaign of ethnic cleansing against Punjabi settlers.

And you can own all that history for just $3.85 per magnet. They'll probably keep your grocery list securely pinned to your fridge as well.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

5 Idiots - Updated

Can we just stop with the uber-moronic behaviour, please?

Top 5 technologically and logically illiterate bozos of the day (in ascending order):

5. Muhammad Sidiq / Siddique, petitioner of writ no. 3246/2010 in the Lahore High Court
4. Latifur Rehman, advocate for Muhammad Sidiq / Siddique
3. Muhammad Hussain Azad, Deputy Attorney General Punjab
2. Aslam Dhakkar, President High Court Bar Association Bahawalpur
1. Justice Mazher Iqbal Sidhu, Judge Lahore High Court

As evidence I present the following news item from the front page of The News today:


LHC orders blocking of Google, Yahoo, 7 other sites
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
"BAHAWALPUR: The Lahore High Court has directed the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority to immediately block nine websites for publishing and promoting sacrilegious material, and ordered the PTA chairman to appear in the court on June 28, 2010 along with all relevant material.
Justice Mazher Iqbal Sidhu of the LHC Bahawalpur Bench, while hearing a write petition on Tuesday, ordered blocking of nine websites including Yahoo, MSN, Hotmail, YouTube, Google, Islam Exposed, In The Name Of Allah, Amazon and Bing.
A citizen, Muhammad Sidiq, filed a writ petition No. 3246/2010 in the LHC, seeking a ban on the websites for publishing blasphemous materials and twisting the facts and figure of Holy Quran. Deputy Attorney General Muhammad Hussain Azad also endorsed the viewpoint of the petitioner and demanded blocking of these websites.
Counsel for the petitioner, Latif-ur-Rehman Advocate presented CDs and other evidence in the court, showing that the said websites were publishing sacrilegious material. Later, President High Court Bar Aslam Dhakkar said the court has given a historic decision. He said the legal fraternity would observe a complete strike in Bahawalpur on Wednesday (today) against publication of such material by these websites. He said a meeting would also discuss the situation today."


That's right. It seems the Lahore High Court has nothing better to do these days than to entertain frivolous applications and to pass even more frivolous judgements on them. Is it the job of the judiciary to be constantly policing the worldwide internet (remember the Facebook fiasco!)??? Even more pertinently, is it the job of judges who obviously have not even the slightest knowledge of technological matters - after all five of the sites drawing the judge's umbrage are search engines while one is an email service provider and another an online store - to be pronouncing orders about them? Should the Chief Justice not take suo moto action against such in his own ranks who make Jamshed Dasti look like the most sagacious man around?

And what can one say about the cheerleading lawyers and officials whose idea of 'history' is how many cups of doodh pati they had in the bar room that afternoon. Morons the lot of them. And all fit cases for being put in the lunatic asylum where they enact as many "historic judgements" as they want.


::: IMPORTANT CAVEAT:::

As reader Huma Imtiaz has pointed out in the comments, the Express Tribune has a different take on the story. According to their story, the bench has NOT called for the immediate blocking of the aforementioned sites and has only asked for the Ministry of Information officials to appear on June 28 to decide about the matter. If so, my remarks against the judge - based on The News' reporting - may have been premature and wrong and I withdraw them with apologies.

I still do think the petition itself is frivolous and should never have been entertained. And my opinion of the rest, based on their reported stances in The News, still stands.



::: UPDATE THURSDAY 24 JUNE :::

So it would seem that The News' story was indeed correct. Dawn's story, appearing today, seems to corroborate the fact that the judge has indeed passed an order blocking the sites, though the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA) has not yet complied. The lawyers under the able leadership of Moron Dhakkan Dhakkar, boycotted courts on Wednesday to protest the websites and passed resolutions against the PTA. According to Dawn:

"The resolution criticised the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA) for not taking prompt action, urging the authorities concerned to ‘realise their responsibilities in this connection’. The resolution further warned PTA that in future if it failed to take action on its own against such websites, the bar would move the high court against the authority."

I take back all my caveats about the judge. You know, I've always suspected that these compulsory black coats in the stifling heat of places like Bahawalpur are liable to screw up people's brains. But must we endure the repercussions of their battles with climatically challenged wardrobes?

Monday, August 17, 2009

Bizarre Fish Video of the Day

Random old video I came across today...

Rednecks will remain rednecks, but the fish are beautiful!