Yousuf in the Confessional

If you haven't already, you must read this report about an extremely frank interview with Mohammad Yousuf (that apparently aired yesterday on some television channel) and in which he lays directly into Umar Akmal, Shoaib Malik and an unnamed player. I don't know which channel this was, if anyone knows please let us know, particularly if there's a weblink to the interview.

Some choice excerpts of what Yousuf said:

On PCB Chairman Ejaz Butt announcing midway through tour that he would be replaced as skipper:

“I don't know when the statement was made, but when it was, suddenly everyone in the team changed. Six or seven players started to see themselves as captains all of a sudden. At the start of the tour in New Zealand, the players were cooperating with me, but as the tour went on I felt they weren't because they knew I wouldn't be captain in the next series.”

On Umar Akmal's mysterious "stiff back":

“Umar was fine as far as I knew. What happened in his room and how he got a stiff back all of a sudden was a surprise to me. He miraculously recovered as soon as we told him that he would be going home.”

On Shoaib Malik as a possible captain:

“We all know what he’s good at, certainly not captaincy.”

On the most problematic player in the team:

“There is one player in the team who is disturbing team unity and other players. I spoke to coach Intikhab Alam and other management about it and they agreed with me," Yousuf said. “I will only disclose his name to the chairman of the board, Ijaz Butt.”

“Intikhab Alam (coach), Abdur Raqeeb (manager) and [Shahid] Afridi know who the player is and we discussed it as well several times,” Yousuf added.

“During the New Zealand tour and onwards Intikhab was telling me to be wary of him, but I wanted to see for myself. I saw in Australia how his body language was and we dropped him from the Tests. We decided in Australia during a meeting that we had to do something about him.”

Hmmmm. An intriguer who Yousuf does not like and who did not play in the Tests. One guess who this one is.

Yousuf Spells It Out

Pakistan cricket team's tableeghi-in-chief skipper Mohammad Yousuf has finally come out and said it like it is.

Yousuf: Candid tongue

In The News today, he is quoted as saying:

"If you expect something of this side, then maybe that is the wrong expectation."

You have to admire the clarity of thought and the brevity of the statement. Of course, it's taken 14 dropped catches (so far), a number of missed run-outs, two ridiculous run-outs on a flat track at Hobart, two consecutive and shameful test match losses and the imminent prospect of a third, to get him to admit this. But as they say in Urdu, 'daer aaye, durust aaye' (better late than never)...

Oh yeah, and he called Salman Butt "a little lazy runner." You just feel he probably wanted to use some other word than "runner", but for Mohammad Yousuf - who has never been one of Pakistan's more sprightly sprinters between the wickets - to say this, you know it means something.

Why No Sports Team Wants to Visit Pakistan, Really

First of all, can I just vent my total and utter disbelief and agony at the depths that the Pakistani cricket team has sunk to? I mean, here we were, on the brink of winning our first test in Australia in 15 years (!) and we end up losing??! One always had an uneasy feeling about Pakistan's ability to chase anything over 150 - despite there being a full two days of play left - but even so, I calmed myself by thinking 'Pakistan just cannot be as predictable as to collapse once again.' Obviously, their unpredictability lay only in proving me wrong about their predictability. Aaaaaaargh!!! Bloody bunch of wankers!

Top three wankers-in-chief:

1. Kamran Akmal: Dropping not one, not two, not three but four fucking catches and missing one run out. And this is the man with the gloves! Oh yeah, and scoring a grand total of 25 runs in two innings and getting out to ego shots when your side needed you to stay.

2. Misbah-ul-Haq: A grand total of 11 runs in the entire match. If he's the "sheet anchor" in the middle, no wonder the ship is adrift. Shite anchor, more like. Remind me why he's in the side again?

3. Mohammad Yousuf: For his bizarre captaincy that allowed Pakistan to snap defeat from the jaws of victory and for his general persona that makes it seem he'd much rather be preaching. Five Rupees had a post on this recently, commenting on how he spends more time trying to convert other cricketers to Islam than on actual strategizing. Perhaps, today he was too busy thinking about how to get Ricky Ponting to attend one of his tableegh sessions. Idiot.

Which of course segues nicely into the reason that no sports teams, other than Bangladesh, want to visit Pakistan. This is from Dawn:

9 African boxers embrace Islam

Wednesday, 06 Jan, 2010

        

KARACHI, Jan 5: Nine African boxers embraced Islam on the sidelines of an international boxing tournament on Tuesday, saying they were impressed by the humanity and righteous ways of the religion.

 

The boxers flew into Karachi to compete in the contest named after assassinated former prime minister Benazir Bhutto and drawing participants from 20 countries around the world.

 

It was a landmark tournament for Pakistan, coming 10 months after an attack on Sri Lankan cricketers in Lahore killed eight people, all but destroying the country’s hopes of hosting top-level international sport.

 

Six boxers from Central African Republic (CAR) --- Yagor Gbodo, Selebange Welcome, Niamogui Songnekani, NGoko Bongui, Ndarash and Bongola --- all chose to convert on the sidelines of the contest, which runs until Friday.

 

They were joined by Mendoua Blase, Ketchemi Joseph Justin and Tchwem Justin from Cameroon who also converted from Christianity to Islam. CAR coach Mohammad Kalambaye said the boxers were impressed by the teachings of Islam and Pakistan’s hospitality.—AFP

Within and without, it seems we're more intent on proselytizing than playing sports. And you wonder why our "conversion rates" are touching the sky.