Absurdity, Thy Name Is...

Must Pakistan - or perhaps one should say specifically its government, its political leaders, its judiciary, its military and its bureaucrats - continue to make an ass of itself? Must it circumvent any attempt to make the world forget that we can be the most absurd cretins in the world?

Graphic by Nick Bilton (Source: New York Times)

Barely had the memory of the Lahore High Court-imposed Facebook ban faded from the collective global 'News of the Weird' consciousness that we were struck with the Twitter ban, which the Ministry of Information Technology people told us was because of "blasphemous and inflammatory content" on the site.


(Update: I had almost finished writing this post when news came in that the Twitter ban had been lifted but am posting this in any case in the off-chance that someone within the corridors of policy-making might read and prevent a recurrence of such ineptitude.) 

According to this Express Tribune story:

"Pakistan’s government had asked Twitter to stop a discussion on Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), which was considered derogatory, [PTA Chairman Dr Mohammad] Yaseen said, adding that “Twitter refused our request.”"

Now, you would have to be totally unaware of what Twitter is and how it works to think the above statement makes any sense whatsoever. Imagine, if you will, the government asking a cell phone company to stop people SMS-ing each other anything derogatory about the Prophet. The only way it would be possible for the cell phone company to enforce such a 'request' would be to either read each and every single SMS from the billions that go out from within its network or to simply ban any SMSes that used the word 'Prophet' or 'Muhammad' or 'Mohammad' or 'Mohd' or any other possible variation (and there would still be ways to circumvent it), which would of course block all Islamic SMSes as well. Any cell phone company would obviously 'refuse' the government's request, simply because it would not be possible to implement.

Of course I am not even touching upon the concept of 'free speech' (and which particularly protects 'speech' that one disagrees with or finds offensive) which is integral to rational societies and which would be another reason for Twitter to refuse to censor something even if it could. But this is a concept which is obviously is too lofty an argument for the cretins in officialdom to understand.

In any case, I am more than sure that there is not a single person within the so-called 'Ministry of Information Technology' who is on Twitter or even has a passing knowledge of it.

In all likelihood, given the storm of outrage and mocking it has unleashed, the ban will not last very long. But let's look at what this ban has actually achieved:

1. It has given free global publicity to offensive material that most people - including us - were not even aware of. 

2. It has shown that those in Pakistan who are supposed to manage information technology actually have no clue what they are in charge of. They are obviously also clueless about the ease with which such bans can be circumvented (it took us and others a total of five minutes to get around it.)

3. It has made Pakistan a target of mocking all around the world yet again as a country that cannot be rational, trust its citizens or tolerate any opinions that don't fit in with its own. 

4. It has made an issue out of a non-issue (most people were unaware of the material as pointed out above) and in that given oxygen to precisely those obscurantist elements who use these things to fan the flames of bigotry and intolerance, both within Pakistan and abroad. Note that there had been NO protests before the Ministry of Information Technology drew attention to this 'issue' but that with its ineptitude it has ensured that it is now on the radar for all rent-a-crowd mullahs and will embolden those racists who enjoy provoking all Muslims. 

5. It has shown that any flimsy excuse can be used to censor opinions, particularly political opinions, that the government of the day is uncomfortable with. Because at the end of the day, it's not alleged blasphemers and pornographers who suffer from Pakistani bans, but common people expressing their personal views, on Twitter, Facebook or on blogs, outside the more easily controlled corporate media.

Let me draw another analogy for our esteemed policy makers. If, on the street, someone were to go around particularly eavesdropping on conversations among random groups of people to check if anyone were using foul language so that he could berate them, or more closely, telling everyone to shut up because he had heard some people using foul language, we would consider such a person a lunatic. Unfortunately, that is exactly what the people at the Ministry of Information Technology have proved themselves to be, overzealous lunatics. It's about time bureaucrats realize that we cannot police the entire world and, more importantly, that there is no need to.

Then, Of Course, There's Twitter

More than one commentator has ascribed the relative dearth of recent posts on this blog to our having taken the easy way out (as others before us) and our expending too much energy on Twitter. And you know what, they may not be completely incorrect. It is, of course, far easier to write pithy sentences of 140 characters rather than thought out essays - even rants - and there is more immediate feedback. Sometimes even a conversation. (And yes, I do remember our initial expression of disdain for it.) It isn't the only reason (as I've tried to explain before) but it could be one reason.

So I thought what better way to ease back into blogging after a longish hiatus by having a post about that infernal sinkhole of time and energy, Twitter, which as we all know now even has the Chairman of the Pakistan Peoples Party, Bilawal Bhutto Zardari, in its clutches. And what better way to really make it easy by having someone else do all the writing and my being simply the medium pointing you in the right direction. Hope you enjoy the following collection from that wonderful chronicler of workplace absurdities, Dilbert by Scott Adams. Never were truer words spoken about the Tweeting phenomenon...


Twitter 1 or Why Some People Tweet:

Twitter 2 or How To Distract Rehman Malik:

Twitter 3 or The Compulsive Tweeters (Marvi Memon Fan Group):

And then there's this kind of workplace (Jang Group Version):

At some point I'd also love to do a post about those who think they're leading some sort of guerrilla mobilization on Twitter. It is, truly, a sight to behold. When they shout (in CAPS of course) that the Revolution (all 140 characters of it) is not far off, all you can do is nod in agreement and add:

You Want 'Real' Data? You Got It

I never expected, when I wrote this small post challenging one by-the-way assertion of The Express Tribune's publisher about ET's online presence vis a vis that of its far more established rival newspaper, Dawn, that it would lead to an all-out flame war in the comments section.

Those jumping to ET's defence began first with trying to discredit our data, interpretation and our web-savvy, followed it up with spin about what was really meant by asserting that ET was "neck in neck" [sic] online with Dawn (hint: it can mean nothing other than readership especially when you're talking about circulations), and ended up by accusing us of carrying out some sort of campaign against ET. I was hugely tempted not to further indulge such grandiose notions of self-importance and (supposed) victimization, not to mention the fact that the comparative online reach of Pakistan's English print media is not an immensely critical issue in my opinion in the larger scheme of things or even as far as the Pakistani media is concerned.

But the reason for a new post on the same topic is because, for one, we promised an independent and thorough analysis to our readers and because some of our friends have gone to great lengths to compile the data for us. More importantly, there is a principle at stake here, namely that of our credibility. We need to set the record straight about some of the wild assertions made in the comments of the last post.

So, without further ado, we present to you a Comparison of the Top English Language News Websites in Pakistan, conducted by our friends at Creative Chaos. (In the interests of full disclosure, it should be pointed out that Creative Chaos is a technology company operating since 2000, was responsible for the pre-launch design and development of The Express Tribune's website, and has also worked with Dawn five years ago to develop their online classifieds (the site was later shut down, ostensibly because management felt it was driving traffic away from the print edition). In addition, the company's CEO, Shakir Husain, is also a columnist for The News and occasionally writes for the Dawn Group's advertising and marketing-related publication Aurora.)

The comparisons of Dawn.com, thenews.com.pk and tribune.com.pk were done using four different internationally renowned website analysis tools, i.e. Compete, WebsiteTrafficSpy, Alexa, and doubleclick ad planner by Google, all of which estimate the web traffic of sites based on numerous data streams and their own analytical algorithms. In addition, social media (Facebook, Twitter) influence of these sites was also separately analysed using Klout which basically calculates its rankings using criteria such as number of retweets, quality of tweets etc. Let us go through them one by one.


WEBSITE ANALYTICS

1. Compete
According to its website, Compete:

"Provides free information for every site on the Internet including site traffic history and competitive analytics; a list of available promotional codes across thousands of online retailers; and site-specific trust scores based on up-to-the-minute data from Compete and third party security services."

This is the data Compete generated:

Click to Enlarge

As you may see, Dawn has a substantial lead over both ET and The News. However, ET and The News can certainly be considered "neck and neck" so far with ET on the up and The News remaining more or less steady.


2. WebsiteTrafficSpy

Though there is no explanation on the WebsiteTrafficSpy website about its methodology of traffic analysis, Creative Chaos believes it aggregates different sources such as Alexa to provide a comprehensive result.

This is the data WebsiteTrafficSpy generated:

Click to Enlarge

According to WebsiteTrafficSpy's estimates, Dawn has 1.96million monthly users, putting it 685,000 ahead of ET which has almost 1.28million monthly users. The News meanwhile, with an estimated 0.93million users is about 350,000 monthly users behind ET. It also puts Dawn's pageviews at approximately 275,000 per day as opposed to ET's 125,000 per day and The News' 92,000 per day. Finally, it ranks Dawn's website at 3,927 worldwide while ET's is ranked at 8,151 and The News' at 11,503.


3. Alexa

According to its website:

"Alexa is continually crawling all publicly-available websites to create a series of snapshots of the web. We use the data we collect to create features and services: 

Site Info: Traffic Ranks, search analytics, demographics, and more
Related Links: Sites that are similar or relevant to the one you are currently viewing 

Alexa has been crawling the web since early 1996, and we have constantly increased the amount of information that we gather. We are currently gathering approximately 1.6 terabytes (1600 gigabytes) of web content per day. After each snapshot of the web (which take approximately two months to complete), Alexa has gathered 4.5 billion pages from over 16 million sites."

The overall picture generated by Alexa is as follows:

Click to Enlarge

Note that, as opposed to the vociferous pointations from some commenters in the last post that ET's ranking was only 4 or 6 places behind Dawn according to Alexa, the 'within Pakistan' ranking differs by 13 places. However, in the overall scheme of things (since sites are accessed not just from within the country) Dawn's website is ranked by Alexa at 3,914 while ET's website is ranked at 8,181, a whopping 4,267 places behind. The News, meanwhile is far behind in terms of both rankings. (These rankings are, incidentally, pretty much the same as on WebsiteTrafficSpy.)

In case, you're interested, Alexa also provides snapshots of different parameters that can be looked at. We've included three of the ones most pertinent to the discussion at hand:

In terms of daily traffic ranking:

Red=Dawn, Blue=The News, Green=ET (Click to Enlarge)

In terms of daily reach:

Red=Dawn, Blue=The News, Green=ET (Click to Enlarge)

In terms of daily page views:

Red=Dawn, Blue=The News, Green=ET (Click to Enlarge)

4. doubleclick ad planner by Google

This is how doubleclick ad planner explains itself on its website:

"Refine your online advertising with DoubleClick Ad Planner, a free media planning tool that can help you:

Identify websites your target customers are likely to visitDefine audiences by demographics and interests.
Search for websites relevant to your target audience.
Access unique users, page views, and other data for millions of websites from over 40 countries.

Easily build media plans for yourself or your clientsCreate lists of websites where you'd like to advertise.
Generate aggregated website statistics for your media plan."

The data generated separately for all three sites is as follows:

Dawn's traffic stats: Click to Enlarge

ET's traffic stats: Click to Enlarge

The News' traffic stats: Click to Enlarge

This tool once again puts Dawn far ahead of both others with almost 80,000 daily unique visitors. However, according to doubleclick ad planner by Google, The News with some 36,000 daily unique visitors actually edges out ET with about 28,000. Interestingly, The News also has people spending the most time on their site, an average of 18:20 minutes as opposed to Dawn's 7:40 and ET's 6:20. Generally, that might be considered a good thing. However something tells me that's probably simply because that's how long it takes The News' online readers to figure out how to get to the story they really want in the clutter that is that site.

Conclusion


As you can confirm from all the tools used, our original assertions using Google Trends for Websites as a tool were pretty much on the mark. They are not contradicted by a single other tool.


SOCIAL MEDIA

While we did not touch upon social media in our earlier post, since some commenters brought it up, here's a brief analysis.

Social media usage is the one place where ET has a very strong presence and ET seems to use social media well with some of its articles shared around on Facebook by the thousands. Not that it means anything in substantive terms, but Dawn has 37,000 'fans' on Facebook, followed by ET which has about 23,000. The News is almost dormant on Facebook with only 8,000 'fans'.

On Twitter, however, ET really comes into its own, with the widest reach and the largest number of users. As per Creative Chaos' analysis:

"ET's use of Twitter is by far the most aggressive. Not only do they share all links, their writers do the same as well. Very recently, Dawn has started to share its links online whereas The News remains dormant."

5. Klout

As per its website:

"The Klout Score is the measurement of your overall online influence. The scores range from 1 to 100 with higher scores representing a wider and stronger sphere of influence. Klout uses over 35 variables on Facebook and Twitter to measure True Reach, Amplification Probability, and Network Score.

True Reach is the size of your engaged audience and is based on those of your followers and friends who actively listen and react to your messages. Amplification Score is the likelihood that your messages will generate actions (retweets, @messages, likes and comments) and is on a scale of 1 to 100. Network score indicates how influential your engage audience is and is also on a scale from 1 to 100. The Klout score is highly correlated to clicks, comments and retweets.

We believe that influence is the ability to drive people to action -- "action" might be defined as a reply, a retweet, a comment, or a click. We perform significant testing to ensure that the average click-through rate on links shared is highly correlated with a person's Klout Score. The 25+ variables used to generate scores for each of these categories are normalized across the whole data set and run through our analytics engine. After the first pass of analytics, we apply a specific weight to each data point. We then run the factors through our machine-learning analysis and calculate the final Klout Score. The final Klout Score is a representation of how successful a person is at engaging their audience and how big of an impact their messages have on people."

The following data was generated by Klout for all three:

Dawn: Klout score 59 (Click to Enlarge)

ET: Klout score 67 (Click to Enlarge)

The News: Klout score 58 (Click to Enlarge)

What this shows is that ET and its writers are, by far, using social media in the best way to engage audiences. How far that goes in driving traffic towards their website remains to be seen but certainly they have the right idea about digital audiences.

Incidentally, just for fun, we also checked out our own cache on social media using basically only our Twitter presence (Klout did not ask us for our Facebook account details). Here is the result for @cpyala, which as you can see is "neck and neck" in many respects with ET. Make of it what you will.

@cpyala: Klout score 64 (Click to Enlarge)

At the very least, I hope this exhaustive exposition will put to rest the sniping about us having used the "wrong tools" to show ET up and the wild assertions based more on knee-jerk reactions than any real understanding of anything. As we said last time, ET has considerable achievements to its name in its first year. If only its supporters would focus on the genuine ones rather than getting stroppy when imagined ones are called out.

Finally a big thank you to the folks at Creative Chaos for all their hard work and cooperation.

Facebook Administrative Issues

This is just a short post about administrative matters.

Apologies to all those complaining about our Facebook page not being updated regularly. We had put the Facebook page up to automatically aggregate our posts and twitter feeds and had hoped we wouldn't need to do more on a regular basis.

The newer, hopefully better, Cafe Pyala Facebook page

It turns out that the issue was with Facebook itself and some new required permissions it put in place in November, pending which our blog's RSS feeds stopped being updated under the 'News' tab. We have made some changes to the page so that our blog posts will now arrive directly on the 'Wall.' There is no longer a 'News' tab though Twitter feeds can still be seen under the Twitter tab. Hopefully this should also mean that new posts should also automatically turn up in the 'NewsFeed' of those people who are 'Fans' of the page.

Please do let us know if this is working out all right. You can reply either in the comments under this post or under the Discussion tab on the Facebook page itself.

Save The Words!

As if to prove that the folks at the cynicocratical Café Pyala are also perfectly capable of jumping up and down and screaming Like, OMG! Like, how exciting!, the discovery of the day award goes to Save the Words, a site devoted to the preservation of some of English’s most eccentric children. Its raison d’être is summarized thus:

"Each year hundreds of words are dropped from the English Language.

Old words, wise words, hard-working words. Words that once led meaningful lives but now lie unused, unloved and unwanted.

Today, 90% of everything we write is communicated by only 7000 words.

You can change all that. Help save the words!

If not for yourself, then for generations yet to come. Now, you may ask, “What have future generations done for us lately?”

Well, not much. But one day they’ll be grateful. You never know, one day they might even have a word or two to say about you.

Help spread the word."

Some of you writers/reporters/journalists out there might wonder whether embracing flosculations will go down well with your inveteratist editors. Will it viliorate your reputation? Gumfiate your paycheck? Make a vicious blogger jump on your article and accuse you of pretentiousness? And isn’t it just wiser to call ‘ someone who eats babies’ a ‘monster’ rather than a ‘brephophagist’?

Personally, I think indulging in this kind of locupletative exercise has to be its own brabeum. But if that doesn’t convince you, here are some other reasons savethewords.org thinks you might enjoy mixing it up a little:

"In bored-room meetings, you’ll typically use expressions like: “think laterally”, “reach projected targets” and “cost-cutting measures.” How about in your next meeting, make things a little more interesting by dropping in some rarer words: “think outside the nidifice.”

“It’s not you, it’s me.” “It was really hard to write this letter.” “We’re not right for each other.” Cliché. Cliché. Cliché. How about giving them something else to think about by using phrases like “I amorevolous you but I’m not in amorevolous with you.” 

Dazzle your friends! Create endless arguments and debates! Confuse the hell out of everyone! Now it’s simple when you start using words like Pudify, Stagma and Volgivagant. You’re the winner at the table, and you know it.

[Sky-writing] If you saw the word ‘Sigilism’ painted across the skies for all to see, what would you think? The pilot is incredibly intelligent? The pilot can’t spell? The pilot is drunk?

[With respect to tattoos] I love Mum. Done. Anchor. Done. Celtic symbols. Done. Sanksrit. Done. Snake. Done. Koi. Done. Angry dragon. Done. Girlfriend’s name. Done. Bar code. Done. Tremefy. Never done!

You’re not in a relationship if you don’t have a moniker. Usually they’re little romantic-in-jokes that no one else will understand (or want to). But imagine coming home from work one day and saying “Mulcible, I’m home”. Imagine."

On the flip side, language is a double-edged sword. Wield it with skill and it can vanquish your enemies, cook your dinner and organize your Sci-Fi action figure collection in alphabetical order. Wield it ineptly and you can put your own eye out, as well as any other eyes that happen to fall across it. This happens quite frequently in the pages of Pakistani publications. Sometimes words or phrases are not just used misused, they are raped, beaten and left for dead in dark alleys. Here is a selection of a few we at Café Pyala have come across during our weary trudge through miles of newsprint:


Trawlers. As in ‘Trawlers block road as area cordoned off.’ A trawler is not a container. A trawler is a big fishing boat. As if it isn’t bad enough that random interest groups are commandeering our public spaces, we must also then spend the whole day with the image of giant fishing boats squatting on our street corners.

Slam. Slams. Slammed. As in ‘MQM slams government’s imposition of new sales tax’ or ‘Musharraf’s comments slammed by PML-N.’ How is there going to be peace and quiet in the world if everybody is always slamming things?

Flay. As in ‘Khabardrama’s statement flayed.’ So after the slamming comes the lashing then the…gnashing? Was it flashing that led to the lashing?

Eve-teasing. That is SOOO 4004 BC.

Liberal mindset. Eh what?

Liberal extremist. See above.

Healthy instead of fat

Smart instead of slim.

Backside. As in the backside of the store.

Bread-earners instead of bread-winners.

Supermodel. Every model is apparently one. How super!

Apprehended / nabbed for caught or arrested or held.

Cost when they mean price.

Purchase instead of buy.

Heinous as in criminal.

Nefarious instead of notorious.

Loose. As in a woman.

For some time. As in ‘The PM and Pres had a one-on-one meeting for some time’.

Common man. As opposed to?

Powers-that-be. Nobody knows what exactly they be (trippin’, perhaps?), they just be. Like Hamlet, only without the panty drop-inducing soliloquy.

Well-rounded. As in individual(s).

Civil society to refer to NGO activists.

Religious leaders for politicians with beards.

Paramour. As in a woman and her paramour were killed in a case of karo kari. Their sons Boromir and Faramir went on to star in a Peter Jackson film.

Urchins. For kids. Silver lining? At least they’re not saying cherubim.


Please do bring any others you can think of to our attention in the comments section. We are thinking about compiling a list and floating our own website www.euthanisethewords.com.pk, a sort of hospice for terminally ill expressions, where words that should never be used again in a Pakistani paper can go to die.

Red Faces

I have to admit that I have either been too slack or too busy in the last few days to do posts on a number of issues that deserve posts. Unfortunately, too many things happen all at the same time (it's Pakistan, what're you gonna do?) so posts get, in the words of bureaucracy, 'pended'. Hopefully I'll get round to at least a couple of them. One of the ones I've been 'working on' for a couple of weeks now has to do with the advertising world, which deserves a lot more attention I feel than we end up giving it, thanks to a never-ending cycle of 'breaking news.'

But related to advertising, today I just want to focus on a curious little legal notice that appeared on page 5 in Dawn which made me sit up and take, as it were, notice. Here is the notice:

In case, you can't read the print easily, this is what it says:

"The public-at-large [don't you just love the concept of the 'public-at-large'?] is hereby informed that M/s Telecom Recorder in a post appearing on its website (www.telecomrecorder.com) has misrepresented that my client M/s Red Communication Arts (Private) Limited has been conveyed by Mobilink that my client shall be the official advertising agency representing Mobilink. The public by way of this notice is informed that the said post is a misrepresentation and a concoction of facts and that no such consent has been conveyed to my client by Mobilink. My client reserves its right and is in the process of initiating appropriate proceedings against the website for spreading such false and baseless information."

Now, there were a couple of reasons why I was immediately interested. One of them had to do with the idea that a website, specifically a blog, had incurred legal action, which obviously is of interest to people like us at Cafe Pyala. Let's ignore for a moment the fact - as Kamran Khan informed viewers just this evening on Geo on a completely unrelated note - that the Pakistan Electronic Crimes Ordinance (PECO) under which any ostensible prosecution could be carried out has apparently lapsed last November (in effect, therefore there is no existing law under which anything to do with cyber crime, including credit card identity theft, can be prosecuted). What interests me is whether this notice signals the advent of blogs being taken seriously enough in Pakistan to warrant general attention and thus legal action.

The second, and more profound, reason for my attention was because I was genuinely confused. I know a lot of advertising people and advertising agencies and all of them, without exception, are willing to metaphorically give their left arm and leg to land new clients, leave alone 'big' clients like Mobilink (keep in mind that telcom operators make up more than 70% of all advertising revenue on television). Why was an advertising agency, Red Communication Arts in this case, getting so upset about something that one would assume they would be jumping for joy about? Even if the claim in the post was untrue, shouldn't they be flattered instead of incensed? It just didn't make any sense.

Here's why sometimes it's better to let sleeping dogs lie. See, I was so intrigued by this bizarre legal notice that I went looking for that blog post. Maybe the Telecom Recorder is a must-read within the telecom industry, but I certainly did not know it even existed. Well, now I do and I am sure those who run the blog have been overjoyed at the spike in their readership.

Screen grabs from the Telecom Recorder post

Here is the offending post. Having read it, I think I can now make sense of this notice. From what I've been able to gather, a bunch of ad agencies, including Red, were pitching for a Mobilink-related account. And while the process has apparently not officially ended, Telecom Recorder breaks the allegedly insider news that (according to it) Mobilink's Head of Marketing has already conveyed to Red that it has won the account. Obviously, this has probably led to a lot of pissed off advertising agencies (those that allegedly lost the pitch) but, more importantly, it would lead to red faces (pun intended) at Mobilink. The information of Red celebrating a win, if true, could only have come from within Red. Telecom Recorder also carries a slide from the (I would assume) confidential briefing that Mobilink provided to all those pitching.

The legal notice, then, makes sense as Red attempting to deflect claims of impropriety and alleged collusion not so much against itself as against the Head of Marketing at Mobilink, who it would be safe to assume, is in some hot waters at his organization. Had there not been any grain of truth in the post, would Red have gone out of its way to refute it?

It may well seem like a storm in a teacup to most people but if I know anything of corporate culture, this has probably become a matter of life and death in that world. And if I know anything else about suits, it will probably lead to some heads rolling.

See all you can learn from little public notices tucked away in a newspaper?

A League of Their Own

A spectre is haunting Pakistan - the spectre of yet another political party. It promises to bring about (yet more) "fundamental change in the way politics in conducted in Pakistan" and promises that "in the absence of such change Pakistan will not survive." It loftily envisions a "stable, democratic and prosperous Pakistan" and nobly wants to "empower all of Pakistan's citizens regardless of gender, faith, class or creed, to achieve their aspirations for the future." Its leadership says they are "not politicians" and in normal times "have no inclination to be involved in politics." But then "these are not normal times" because "Pakistan today confronts existential challenges." It believes our current crop of politicians, whether in government or in the opposition, "do not have the ability to guide Pakistan out of its troubles." It wants to bring "people of competence, integrity and honour" into the country's politics and would like to draw particularly on the ignored genius of the skilled Pakistani diaspora (because, hey, who can be more patriotic than people who immigrated to another country, right?).

But it faces some steep immediate challenges: for one, its main leadership is sitting abroad and it's not completely clear when it might actually get its feet on the soil of the motherland to do the real spadework of organizing a cadre. Secondly, so far, it seems to be under a bit of delusion that internet presence can translate into anything that matters politically on the ground. Can it translate its virtual presence into an actual vote bank?

No, no, no, I don't mean that new party.

No, not this new party

I'm referring of course to the party that only those who eyes wander over to those "targeted" Google ads on Gmail, Youtube, fiverupees and various other Pakistani sites know about (talk about a niche vote bank!). Yes, I'm referring to the futuristic party that has been threatening a revolution in the wonderland of Cyberia for many months now.

Initially, I was just tickled by the name: Mustaqbal Pakistan. Yes, it's not mustaqbil (the usual Urdu pronunciation of the word meaning 'future'), it's MustaqBAL. Now, as someone with an ear for accents, I just immediately assumed this had to do with the ethnic / linguistic background of the  people behind this venture - or at least the (probable) head honcho who came up with the name (think Central Punjab.) But since my curiousity got the better of me, I checked out their official website in which they go to some great lengths to explain their name (apparently, it's a Frequently Asked Question) by differentiating between the noun ("with the meaning of the passive participle") and the ("active participle") verb versions of the word, in Arabic. Sigh. It's that whole Ramzan vs Ramadan thing all over again.

This internet party

But the party should actually have been called the Wonder Party, because it leaves you wondering what kind of evening resulted in its formation. Pointing out that "politics today is almost a dirty word" and "has come to be associated with incompetence, corruption, lies, extortion, intimidation, violence and, yes, even stupidity," it amazingly admits that "some of our colleagues - people of merit and excellence - are apprehensive about having their names linked publicly with Mustaqbal" (smart folks?). Therefore, it lists no names except for the Chairman's, who as I initially speculated, is actually from a Chiniot / Lahore family (that eventually settled in Karachi).

In fact, such was the revolutionary zeal of the party ("our names and faces are not important") that, for the first couple of months, it did not even list the Chairman's name. (Maybe, he too was apprehensive about having his name linked with the party? Some reconsideration eventually led to some video clips of him answering questions, in all probability self-posed.) How's that for a political party whose members have the courage of their convictions, eh?

But among the more interesting aspects of the party of the future is that the Chairman, an MIT-trained civil engineer named Nadeem Mumtaz Qureshi, actually never lived in Pakistan between 1974 and 2006, which might explain the fact that the party's section on media has this gem:

"..if one were to judge by the content of media programming it would appear that all of Pakistan is an ultra liberal society. An outsider would think that Pakistanis have nothing better to do than sing and dance all day. He would get the impression that women are liberated and modern."

Really??? I don't know which media Mr Qureshi has been watching but, then, we did say this party should be called the Wonder Party. In any case, in addition to drawing particular attention to the burning issue of empty cigarette packets being "thrown casually on the roads", public spitting and "bad manners" while driving, the party also has in its short 'Code of Conduct' for its workers the following two bits of admonitions:

- Childish conduct such as special number plates, blackened car windows, etc will not be tolerated

- Use of rude, intemperate or obscene language with the poor or with subordinates not acceptable

Don't you just love revolutionary parties that cover all the big issues in the world? In any case, these aspects probably led to the other Frequently Asked Question: "What is the difference between Mustaqbal and Tehreek e Insaf."

Good question. Apparently, the "fundamental difference", according to Chairman Qureshi is one of the "strategy" Imran Khan's party uses to "play the same game" as traditional parties to "win seats and power." Phew, glad we got that sorted out.



: : : TAILPIECE : : :


About that other new party, here's what I've been thinking since someone pointed out that the fancy schmancy designed logo of General Musharraf's party sort of reminded them of the Deccan Chargers logo in the Indian Premier League...

Sab se pehlay Bull

Perhaps the All Pakistan Muslim League can be launched as the new premiere wrestling (noora kushti?) or boxing league where the different factions of the Muslim League duke it out and battle for supremacy. Think of it this way, it'll make great television entertainment (I know the jostling has already begun on Geo but we're talking a revenue stream here) and maybe they'll even fly in cheerleading squads that'll be a darn sight better than the Tehmina Daultanas, Marvi Memons and Atiqa Odhos of the current Muslim Leagues.

Trust me, you don't want to see Tehmina Daultana trying this

Readers' suggestions for the team names, as well as their logos and slogans for the Premiere All Pakistan Muslim League, are welcome. If the designers among you want to send us your actual artwork of the logos, you can do so at our email address. Will be happy to put up the best from among them. So get cracking people, and find the team to support.

Pakistan's Ramzan and Its Discontents

Can people just stop with the pointless sms-es and emails wishing 'Ramadan Mubarak'? I mean, you hear from all manner of random people who you never hear from - or wish to hear from - the rest of the year (except also at Eid of course) and all it does is increase revenue for mobile phone companies and clog up bandwidth and  inboxes. Yes, I'm sure you are excited about fasting and wish to spread the cheer all round but as far as I'm concerned, all I see is ill-tempered drivers on the roads, office staff with bad breath (whoever said you cannot brush your teeth or use mouthwash while fasting?) and people who believe it is a God-given right to blow off work for a whole month. The Pakistani version of the holy month seems generally to involve all the things that the month is supposed to be against: a sense of entitlement, extremism, impatience, insensitivity and hypocrisy.

Isn't is also just a little bit cruel to be joyful about fasting when so many hundreds of thousands are going without food - without choice - because of the devastation of the floods? (Incidentally, by the principles of Islam, fasting is not contingent on displaced people in such situations.) So instead of the sms-es and emails, I would much rather see the same people doing something to help with the relief efforts. All Things Pakistan has a good post here about how you can help. Oh, and while you're at it, please stop with the enforced Arabicization, it's always been Ramzan in Pakistan, thank you very much.

Here's one email I got recently, forwarded from some Taliban mindset outfit in the UK trying to be hip:

Please note the injunction against listening to music and "useless activities" (which include television, phones and computers). How about an injunction against inculcating Taliban mindsets in the garb of religion?

Pakistan Loves Animals, It Really Does

Our friend Ahsan at FiveRupees had once done a post on his blog about the curiously fanatical predilection of Pakistani internet surfers to surf the world of dark erotica, so to speak, more than any other country in the world. You know, not the usual hardcore porn that everyone else is surfing for around the globe, but porn of decidedly unusual tastes. We can confirm, from the kind of searches that have led readers to our blog, that there's a strange, strange world out there, and even stranger are some of the people who mistakenly land up at Cafe Pyala in search of their unusual fetishes. Think of your favourite Pakistani political celebrity and pair their name with the kinkiest of your fantasies and you'll be getting a sense of the kind of stuff we see all the time.

Now it seems the rest of the world has cottoned on to the decidedly bizarre thought processes of the Pakistani public. Here is what Fox News recently reported via the Associated Press:

No. 1 Nation in Sexy Web Searches? Call it Pornistan

By Kelli Morgan

Published July 13, 2010 | FoxNews.com

AP

Pakistan has banned content on more than a dozen websites because of offensive and blasphemous material. The Muslim country, which has laws on dress codes, ranks as the top country to proportionally search for certain sex-related terms.

This article was updated on July 14.

 

"They may call it the "Land of the Pure," but Pakistan turns out to be anything but.

 

The Muslim country, which has banned content on at least 17 websites to block offensive and blasphemous material, is the world's leader in online searches for pornographic material, FoxNews.com has learned.

 

“You won’t find strip clubs in Islamic countries. Most Islamic countries have certain dress codes,” said Gabriel Said Reynolds, professor of Islamic Studies at the University of Notre Dame. “It would be an irony if they haven’t shown the same vigilance to pornography.”

 

So here's the irony: Google ranks Pakistan No. 1 in the world in searches for pornographic terms, outranking every other country in the world in searches per person for certain sex-related content.

 

 

Pakistan is top dog in searches per-person for "horse sex" since 2004, "donkey sex" since 2007, "rape pictures" between 2004 and 2009, "rape sex" since 2004, "child sex" between 2004 and 2007 and since 2009, "animal sex" since 2004 and "dog sex" since 2005, according to Google Trends and Google Insights, features of Google that generate data based on popular search terms.

 

The country also is tops -- or has been No. 1 -- in searches for "sex," "camel sex," "rape video," "child sex video" and some other searches that can't be printed here.

 

Google Trends generates data of popular search terms in geographic locations during specific time frames. Google Insights is a more advanced version that allows users to filter a search to geographic locations, time frames and the nature of a search, including web, images, products and news.

 

Pakistan ranked No. 1 in all the searches listed above on Google Trends, but on only some of them in Google Insights.

 

“We do our best to provide accurate data and to provide insights into broad search patterns, but the results for a given query may contain inaccuracies due to data sampling issues, approximations, or incomplete data for the terms entered,” Google said in a statement, when asked about the accuracy of its reports.

 

The Embassy of Islamic Republic of Pakistan did not reply to a request for an interview.

 

In addition to banning content on 17 websites, including islamexposed.blogspot.com, Pakistan is monitoring seven other sites -- Google, Yahoo, Bing, YouTube, Amazon, MSN and Hotmail -- for anti-Islamic content, the Associated Press reported in June.

 

But it’s not to censor the Pakistani people, Reynolds said. It’s to shut out the rest of the world.

 

“[It] could lead to conversion, which would undermine the very order of the state,” he said. “Part of protecting the society is making sure that there is no way it could be undermined in terms of foreign influences.”

 

Pakistan temporarily banned Facebook in May when Muslim groups protested the “Everybody Draw Muhammad Day” page, where users were encouraged to upload pictures of the Prophet Muhammad. The page remained on Facebook, but Pakistani users were unable to view it, said Andrew Noyes, manager of Facebook’s Public Policy Communication.

 

And while Pakistan is taking measures to prevent blasphemous material from being viewed by its citizens, pornographic material is “certainly” contradictory to Islam, too, Reynolds said.

 

The country’s punishment for those charged with blasphemy is execution, but the question remains what -- if anything -- can be done about people who search for porn on the Web.

 

“It’s a new phenomenon,” Reynolds said."

I had once thought about doing a post about some of the searches that led people to Cafe Pyala but gave up the idea after I realized that it would probably lead to scandalizing decent people for no fault of theirs. All I can add to the report above is that Professor Reynolds is dead wrong about this being a "new phenomenon." Long ago, at the beginning of the net revolution in the country in the 1990s, Pakistani ISPs realized that were they to start filtering out sex sites (not that it would be possible in totality in any case) their traffic (and hence their revenues) would face a major downturn.

But why blame ISPs for the repressed fantasies of the common user? Pornography has been at the cutting edge of internet usage all over the world and continues to be the single biggest revenue earner in cyberspace. The only question that really is worth asking is why Pakistanis are so sexually repressed in their public life that their only outlet is on the net? And yeah, what is up with that bestial shit?

Is Pakistan Run By A Moronocracy?

Please go over to this entry on the Association for Progressive Communications (APC) website and read about what the Government of Pakistan secretly has in store for netizens in the country. APC has managed to get its hands on a confidential document submitted by the Pakistan Telecommunications Authority (PTA) to the Lahore High Court (LHC), detailing how it plans to monitor and censor the internet in the future. The document was submitted after the Facebook ban, and before the current bout of moronic behaviour banning seven websites including search engines such as Google, Yahoo and Bing from the Bahawalpur bench of the LHC (PTA said subsequently it would only "monitor" some of the sites including email provider Hotmail).

According to the document (the following has not been edited to correct any of the usual illiteracy of bureaucracy, all mistakes are in the original):

"On the recommendation of the [inter-ministerial] committee [whose existence is not public knowledge], Federal Government shall issue directive to PTA for blocking of website(s) either at IP level or URL [within 24 hours] which contain the following:

a. All information pertaining to any objectionable content

b.Undermine Islam or ridicule, disparage or attack any religion, ethnic group, region or any group's reverend practices.

c. Brings contempt to the country or its people so as to undermine integrity and solidarity of the state / country.

d. Violates any provision of the constitution of Pakistan or law of the land.

e. Promotes or supports sedition, terrorism, anarchy or violence in the country;

f. Brings contempt of the Defense Forces, Police, Air Force or any other institution of Government of Pakistan or to divulge any secret information relating to Defense and other services.

g.Contains propaganda in favor of any foreign state having bearing on any points of disputes or against any friendly foreign state;

h.Hurts national sentiments"

So basically, here's a draft for another one of those stupid laws / plans that can mean just about anything and probably will. Some other specific points about the above-mentioned clauses:

a - takes care of all search engines
b - interestingly, would it mean banning the websites of Jang and Nawai Waqt et al that have columnists spouting hatred against Ahmadis, Christians and Jews?
c - this would ban even the New York Times e.g.
d - banishes most bloggers or anyone questioning anything
e - as if such sites were allowed in the first place, ask the Baloch nationalists
f - I have no idea why the Air Force is singled out in this (are they not part of the Defence forces?) but basically anyone criticizing corruption even in the Seed Corportion of Pakistan also stands to be blocked. Geo would be blocked for running stories about the Pakistan Steel Mill. And that story on Express Tribune about policemen taking bribes - you're out too ET.
g - so you cannot say, e.g. that India may have a legitimate point when it protests Pakistanis like Ajmal Kasab coming over and killing 200 people in Bombay or that it was American CIA and Saudi money that fueled our jihadis
h - if anything was left, here's the catchall phrase that encompasses it.


You can try all you want but you ain't going to find a more absurdist bunch of nincompoops running a state on the face of this earth.

Cafe Pyala on Twitter, Kinda

So, we've been trying out this Twitter thingumyjig for a few weeks now and have not really warmed up to it. Perhaps it's because it's the cyber equivalent of the shallow television soundbyte. I mean, what can you really say in 140 characters besides irreverent quips or promos? Even Facebook status updates have more depth. Perhaps it's the overdose of immediate tweets from certain people who believe in putting everything they are doing, reading or thinking up for public consumption that makes us cringe. Perhaps it's seeing good bloggers get so caught up in the delusion that tweeting lines is as good as posting a nicely written bit of prose that makes us wary. Then again, maybe we just haven't got the hang of it yet.

In any case, after some careful consideration, for the record, we have decided to share the fact that we are also nominally on Twitter, with all of you guys and gals. You can follow us, not follow us, we don't really care. And if you do decide to follow us, know that we do not guarantee a great time. As I said, we haven't really warmed up to the technology or the philosophy. We may yet, if you can convince us. But don't come shouting at us if we don't.

For those still not put off, our Twitter ID is cpyala. Believe it or not 'cafepyala' was already taken by some Americans selling biryani and paneer tikka masala for $5 and $6. The lengths some people go to!

5 Idiots - Updated

Can we just stop with the uber-moronic behaviour, please?

Top 5 technologically and logically illiterate bozos of the day (in ascending order):

5. Muhammad Sidiq / Siddique, petitioner of writ no. 3246/2010 in the Lahore High Court
4. Latifur Rehman, advocate for Muhammad Sidiq / Siddique
3. Muhammad Hussain Azad, Deputy Attorney General Punjab
2. Aslam Dhakkar, President High Court Bar Association Bahawalpur
1. Justice Mazher Iqbal Sidhu, Judge Lahore High Court

As evidence I present the following news item from the front page of The News today:

LHC orders blocking of Google, Yahoo, 7 other sites

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

"BAHAWALPUR: The Lahore High Court has directed the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority to immediately block nine websites for publishing and promoting sacrilegious material, and ordered the PTA chairman to appear in the court on June 28, 2010 along with all relevant material.

Justice Mazher Iqbal Sidhu of the LHC Bahawalpur Bench, while hearing a write petition on Tuesday, ordered blocking of nine websites including Yahoo, MSN, Hotmail, YouTube, Google, Islam Exposed, In The Name Of Allah, Amazon and Bing.

A citizen, Muhammad Sidiq, filed a writ petition No. 3246/2010 in the LHC, seeking a ban on the websites for publishing blasphemous materials and twisting the facts and figure of Holy Quran. Deputy Attorney General Muhammad Hussain Azad also endorsed the viewpoint of the petitioner and demanded blocking of these websites.

Counsel for the petitioner, Latif-ur-Rehman Advocate presented CDs and other evidence in the court, showing that the said websites were publishing sacrilegious material. Later, President High Court Bar Aslam Dhakkar said the court has given a historic decision. He said the legal fraternity would observe a complete strike in Bahawalpur on Wednesday (today) against publication of such material by these websites. He said a meeting would also discuss the situation today."

That's right. It seems the Lahore High Court has nothing better to do these days than to entertain frivolous applications and to pass even more frivolous judgements on them. Is it the job of the judiciary to be constantly policing the worldwide internet (remember the Facebook fiasco!)??? Even more pertinently, is it the job of judges who obviously have not even the slightest knowledge of technological matters - after all five of the sites drawing the judge's umbrage are search engines while one is an email service provider and another an online store - to be pronouncing orders about them? Should the Chief Justice not take suo moto action against such in his own ranks who make Jamshed Dasti look like the most sagacious man around?

And what can one say about the cheerleading lawyers and officials whose idea of 'history' is how many cups of doodh pati they had in the bar room that afternoon. Morons the lot of them. And all fit cases for being put in the lunatic asylum where they enact as many "historic judgements" as they want.


::: IMPORTANT CAVEAT:::

As reader Huma Imtiaz has pointed out in the comments, the Express Tribune has a different take on the story. According to their story, the bench has NOT called for the immediate blocking of the aforementioned sites and has only asked for the Ministry of Information officials to appear on June 28 to decide about the matter. If so, my remarks against the judge - based on The News' reporting - may have been premature and wrong and I withdraw them with apologies.

I still do think the petition itself is frivolous and should never have been entertained. And my opinion of the rest, based on their reported stances in The News, still stands.



::: UPDATE THURSDAY 24 JUNE :::

So it would seem that The News' story was indeed correct. Dawn's story, appearing today, seems to corroborate the fact that the judge has indeed passed an order blocking the sites, though the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA) has not yet complied. The lawyers under the able leadership of Moron Dhakkan Dhakkar, boycotted courts on Wednesday to protest the websites and passed resolutions against the PTA. According to Dawn:

"The resolution criticised the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA) for not taking prompt action, urging the authorities concerned to ‘realise their responsibilities in this connection’. The resolution further warned PTA that in future if it failed to take action on its own against such websites, the bar would move the high court against the authority."

I take back all my caveats about the judge. You know, I've always suspected that these compulsory black coats in the stifling heat of places like Bahawalpur are liable to screw up people's brains. But must we endure the repercussions of their battles with climatically challenged wardrobes?

Fountainhead

Just in case you were in any doubt about the wellsprings of anti-Ahmadi hate that fueled last Friday's terrorist attacks, here are a couple of pieces of evidence posted by people on Facebook and Twitpic.

This one is of a banner from Mall Road outside the Lahore High Court and reads "Yahoodi Eesai Mirzai Islam Ke Dushman Hain" (Jews, Christians, Ahmadis Are Enemies of Islam).

(Source: Isa Daudpota / TwitPic)

And this following one is of a billboard, also in Lahore, sponsored by the Government of the Punjab for the Aalmi Majlis Tahaffuz-e-Khatm-e-Nabuwat (World Conference for the Protection of the Finality of the Prophethood). I believe this is from 2009. It carries a quote (bottom right) that reads "Mirzaion Se Dosti Huzoor Sallallaho Alehe Wasallam Se Baghawat Hai" (Friendship with Ahmadis is Rebellion Against the Prophet Peace Be Upon Him).

(Source: Khuda Bux Abro / Facebook)

And officials still have the temerity to talk about international conspiracies to defame Islam and Pakistan.

How To Make The Most of Blog Comments Sections

Okay so I was browsing around, and quite by accident came across this weirdly named Pakistani blog titled Alaiwah! which seems to specialize in nothing in particular but seems to have a tendency of using random sleazy photographs to illustrate its posts. One of the most popular posts on it was titled "Karachi Has More Than 100,000 Prostitutes" that has a photo from a porn site attached for apparently illustrative purposes (but of course it would be popular).

Contrary to all expectations, however, the post was a fairly sober piece about the prevalence and spread of HIV among the working girls of the port city, complete with a discussion of sexual health surveys and an interview with a Napier Road resident.

And then... I read the comments section.

I haven't stopped laughing since.

Nothing I could say would quite explain it. You have to check it out for yourself. Hint: And you thought Cafe Pyala's comments section sometimes veers off topic and goes into a free for all?

Random Technical Question for Our Readers

It seems blogger is constantly attaching the wrong time to our posts, specifically, an hour above the current time. So what we post at 8pm e.g. shows up as having been posted at 9pm.

I have checked the settings and the everything seems to be in order. The time is set to Pakistan Standard Time (GMT +5) and Karachi time. However, the automatic time shown is wrong in the settings, even though the computer's own clock is fine. Is there some setting we have to tinker with?

Would appreciate some feedback.

Aik Khiladi, Aik Haseena Aur Hazaar Apoplectic Nitwits

Consider this a long-delayed cry-out to the FiveRupees team to start blogging again. We miss you guys! Tweeting is just not the same thing.

In honour of FiveRupees lead blogger Ahsan's favourite topic (besides football) - Pak India wars in online comments - I am reproducing here the rather long but hilarious comments section so far on a Times of India story that pointedly suggests that another former Pakistan cricket skipper is involved in a cross-border romance with another Indian celebrity. Yes, we're talking Wasim Akram and Sushmita Sen. Ahsan's twitter feed is where I first picked up this gem in any case.

Akram and Sen: causing cross-border rage 

We have no idea whether the gossipy story itself is credible or not. But that's not even the point. The point are the readers' responses, which follow the traditional pattern of Indo-Pak diplomacy: petty, point-scoring, often crude, badly-constructed and singularly devoid of sense or grammar. No Am(a)n Ki Asha meeting place this. Enjoy.

Responses are in order of posting... And once again, apologies for the long cut and paste, but I wanted you guys to get the real flavour...

Champ INDIA 09 Apr, 2010 06:05 AM

What has TOI got to do with their life. Why do they have to invade others privacy.

Rider USA 10 Apr, 2010 12:32 AM

Come on everybody , if Indian woman likes to have that thing with men with pakistanis , there must be a reason ,we all know indian men are generally vegetarians where Pakis eat a lot of chiken and beef etc , so ya they have a better performance , you know what i mean , right ,,,,

Salim Hyderabad 09 Apr, 2010 10:09 PM

There is actually something really wrong with Paki womenEither they have been completely used and roughed up by the taliban.OR the arabs who visit pakis have made all the paki women their 4th 5th or 10th wives.OR paki men has not seen any paki women as they are all clad in black head to toe

bharat india 09 Apr, 2010 05:38 PM

pathetic romance by sushmita sen. she has changed many boys. last she find the boy from our enemy country ?. in indian over 100 crore she could not find a single boy. hs no love for india. sushmita n sania should be ready to face the MF husain future ...

bhol CA 10 Apr, 2010 04:44 PM

I totally agree !

Amol USA 09 Apr, 2010 05:51 AM

Seems time is in for Indian men to look for Pakistani women and start a new trend. Indian women seem to be so liberal that they don't think who they are dating. When on the other side of the border there is no love lost of India, Indian women are treading a dangerous line.

SN Hyderabad 09 Apr, 2010 10:49 AM

" Indian men to look for Pakistani women "

Ratna Bahrain 09 Apr, 2010 10:32 PM

Pakistani Women did not expose to attract unlike Indian Bollywood women. For Sex they fall pray.

Alikhan pakistan 09 Apr, 2010 05:14 AM

Indian men are obviously useless and hence indian women prefer real men from Pakistan. hahaha

Amit Mumbai 09 Apr, 2010 07:06 AM

And Pakistani women are so ugly, that Paki men have to come to India looking for beauties... hahaha.

afreen lucknow 09 Apr, 2010 08:57 AM

well said hi hi hi ......me an Indian Muslim girl

SAHIL PAKISTAN 09 Apr, 2010 11:02 AM

i am Handsome pakistani .........A nuclear engineer From Massachusetts institute of Technology...If u wanna friendship me .then email me at my Email ID

Jeetesh Bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 12:29 PM

But where you will live after getting married......In Massachusetts, Dubai or some other country...As no girl from india or anywhere else want to settle in Pakistan.....

salim Boston 10 Apr, 2010 03:31 AM

do they teach you to place rdx in your underwear you paki?

Venkat Delhi 09 Apr, 2010 10:42 PM

Great Sahil, but sorry to say there are no gays around here....

nishiks birmingham 09 Apr, 2010 07:34 PM

why dont u place nuclear bomb up yours-----

Manish Delhi 09 Apr, 2010 08:37 AM

very well said

Nafisa India 09 Apr, 2010 09:30 AM

Gud reply Amit. One tight slap on the face to Alikhan!!!!

diya bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 10:30 AM

Mr.Alikhan its jus that indian men are intelligent enuf to choose their partners..so gals with no brain and desperate heart have to compromise with pak men.

Biswa Bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 11:25 AM

Diya's comments is the reality..

sheryar UK 09 Apr, 2010 11:46 AM

sush and sania are no desperate girls with no brian

parijesh Mumbai 09 Apr, 2010 10:11 AM

good reply amit

Buzz India 09 Apr, 2010 11:02 AM

Hahaha... I m laughing and rolling on floor... GOD!!! superb reply...

huh Sgr 09 Apr, 2010 03:22 PM

mind of ugly people reflects ugly things

Hasan Stockholm 09 Apr, 2010 07:15 PM

i can only laugh at u.dil behlaney ko khayal acha hai ghalib.yeah u have beautiful ladies only in movies otherwise indian girls r ugly at large.i have seen myself. beta kabhi pakistan aa ke daiko teri ankhain khul jain gi..why shld our women choose indian men bcoz they r ugly.hehe

parvez dubai 09 Apr, 2010 09:20 AM

Actually pakistani ladies are too hot, wants sex at least twise, before go to bed and before starting the day, poor pak men are not able to do that, to protect their ego they are marrying to others, this way they can keep themself away from sex. They know they would not be living together.

Khan Pakistan 09 Apr, 2010 12:06 PM

Indians women are soo hot that only pak giants will fulfill their sex desires so any one want may contact me

omar Dammam 09 Apr, 2010 11:21 PM

Since when have the paki pathans started liking women,what i know is they like the same sex. Ask the paki panjabi he will tell the truth

screwdriver bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 11:03 PM

only lesbians of india go for paki men

nishiks birmingham 09 Apr, 2010 07:29 PM

khan bhai--i know the story about pathan and the camel--whole world knows it.

Sumesh Dubai 09 Apr, 2010 09:42 AM

Pakis are obsessed with anything Indian, Kashmir, Indian ladies among the high in the list.

Akbar Dubai 09 Apr, 2010 06:39 PM

...Britney Spears and Lady Diana have been dating two Pakistani chaps .... Sumesh you have to agree there is something in Pakistani men.

bhalu TX 10 Apr, 2010 05:02 PM

They have big nose

Shyam Canada 09 Apr, 2010 10:13 AM

Indians showed they are real men in 1971 war.....hi...hi...

Khan India 09 Apr, 2010 12:03 PM

in all the war its indian who run away dont forget Kargil and 79 war. dear read history first correctly and then comment stupid

Jeetesh Bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 01:25 PM

@ Khan:: If you belongs to india, then shame on you....otherwise we dont care about what a pakistani is telling....One more thing.....you need to brush up your history slightly...as no war happened in 1979....Everyone knows about the truth...its not hidden....

Khan India 09 Apr, 2010 04:06 PM

Sorry typo mistake its 71 and i m proud to be indian by i m capable to face truth no matter how cruel dats was and reality is reality mind it

Erik Islamabad 09 Apr, 2010 06:23 PM

oh shut up.... you sensation lovers.... you know... ya right ...

chex Mumbai 09 Apr, 2010 04:27 PM

Khan first you check the history 1971 pakistan had lost and bangladesh was separated. for kargil nawaz sharif had to request america to intervene and save his army and Indian army had given safe passage to them to return back.

Erik Islamabad 09 Apr, 2010 06:24 PM

safe passage...wowww... son.. you have been there... in the war...great .. :D...

Indian India 09 Apr, 2010 03:22 PM

U bugger read the history first and not Pak made news..whole world knowz we won everytime bt as we dnt want any crap from Pak..so despite winning all the wars till now we granted U ur life..

Praveen India 10 Apr, 2010 12:40 PM

U B@@d Khan, living in idnia eating indian food and talking for pakis, why dont u and ur community go to pakistan and get the citizen ship, then we hindus can live safely and peacefully.

dj Bangalore 10 Apr, 2010 01:06 PM

U r right Praveen. We should kick them out of India.

omar dammam 09 Apr, 2010 11:31 PM

First thing Khan is not indian he seems to be wearing a Indian mask. secondly India won all the wars which pakis do accept, listen to their tv shows and than you will know. thirdly paki army is so coward they brain wash, train and send their own people in front to die in front of Indian people

indian bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 11:05 PM

do u really belong to india, cross the the border over night like a pimp

Chinlee Japan 09 Apr, 2010 12:18 PM

What about war with china???

Abhi DXB 09 Apr, 2010 01:23 PM

China will realize the realily v soon, when dere will b no food for hungry people dere and left wid the ammunition 4 fighting others.

chinelee Japan 10 Apr, 2010 12:11 PM

MR.Abhi china is so far better than india we have already beaten you in war.if you want to fought again we are ready this this time we will take ladagh and kashmir to dont forget your past history

Erik Islamabad 09 Apr, 2010 06:28 PM

na Man don't ask them about wars...I don't know where have they read all this home made history of theirs...lolz.. They don't remember 1965, 1949 but what they will talk about is 1971, in which they did cross border terrorism and paid Mukti bani.. Alas, they can't face reality.

Khan India 09 Apr, 2010 11:59 AM

Yeh thats true Indian always shows in their films that women frm pak married to an indian now the reality begins womens of india getting married to Paki legends hahahahhahh

omar dammam 09 Apr, 2010 11:38 PM

Khan since your identity is hidden you seem to be more excited. you coward!

rakesh mumbai 10 Apr, 2010 04:06 AM

mr ali khan actually pakis men are so fool that anyone can make them dance on their tunes, gals like sania and others are gr8 musicians who really cares for their dancers so pls use ur brain, and whole world knows they come india to earn their brd and earn name

rakesh mumbai 10 Apr, 2010 04:04 AM

mr ali khan actually pakis men are so fool that anyone can make them dance on their tunes, gals like sania and others are gr8 musicians who really cares for their dancers so pls use ur brain, and whole world knows they come india to earn their brd and earn name

nishiks birmingham. 09 Apr, 2010 07:26 PM

the real men of pakistan are smelly,hairy with crooked nose--and will not keep thier nose off anyones business.

vikram london 09 Apr, 2010 06:59 PM

dating a indian girl is the biggest achievment for pakistani and pakistan

alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:30 AM

y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of this...is ,nt shame for u

alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:29 AM

y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of this...is ,nt shame for u

a a 09 Apr, 2010 10:14 AM

I cnat understand what theese political parties who on small issues creat big issues doing now. Well done Sania and now Sushmita its ur life and you can decide but see who are they ...I still remember what Paki crickters use to say about India and now for money and fame they are using Indian girls,,

Pritam Chennai 09 Apr, 2010 05:24 PM

Whats has political parties gotta do here u dumbo ? Will they decide who Shush or Akram dates ?

alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:28 AM

y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of this...is ,nt shame for u

alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:28 AM

y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of this...is ,nt shame for u

alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:28 AM

y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of this...is ,nt shame for u

alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:28 AM

y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of this...is ,nt shame for u

alamin norway 09 Apr, 2010 04:28 AM

y u ppl dont let ppl normal.wat u get out of this...is ,nt shame for u

Simrat Manchester 09 Apr, 2010 01:58 AM

Please leave them alon, why you want to know their lives....

Simrat Manchester 09 Apr, 2010 01:57 AM

Leave them alone, why you want to know their lives...

Mangesh India 09 Apr, 2010 01:35 AM

I still remember, when Wasim Akram visited India and been to his native place (not able to recall the place). one of the media person asked about crush he has on Indian actress and he mentioned about Sushmita and now check his destiny.. cant believe.

Akbar Karachi 09 Apr, 2010 06:42 PM

People in Pakistan are to going to kick Wasim Akram's ass if he marries Sush. His wife just died ...he should have played it slow man !

arjun chennai 09 Apr, 2010 01:32 AM

TOI is becoming to suck like anything.. the news you guys publish.. is it that you dont have anything worth at all to say?

Atif Lahore 09 Apr, 2010 09:06 AM

We have a great word in urdu for what TOI is:

Jeetesh Bangalore 09 Apr, 2010 01:16 PM

@Atif::If you have a great word in urdu......they why dont you go there and read and give comments there itself....go tell about your dirty, cheap, lies in urdu...dont come on TOI and pollute with your nonsense...

Atif Lahore 09 Apr, 2010 05:15 PM

Bhayya mind kar gaye! Koi baat nahi! Sprite bujhaye pyaas, na kar baqwas! Ja k pee le! As i was saying - the word in urdu for TOI is "FARIGH"

adi Montreal 09 Apr, 2010 09:21 AM

Any guesses what will be her new name post marriage? Salma, Ayesha.....

RAMAN USA 09 Apr, 2010 09:32 AM

MY INDIAN FELLOWS FROM NOW ON BOYCOTT SANIA MIRZA AND SUSHMITA SEN THEY ARE KALANK ON INDIAN FACE, LET THEM GO TO PAKISTAN THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO STAY IN INDIA BOYCOT SUSHMITA AND SANIA

Is this what they mean when they say the next wars will be fought in cyberspace?