Titter of the Day

Had I not gulped down the sip of my morning tea a split second earlier, I would have almost surely splattered it all over the breakfast table. As it is, the guffaw that bubbled up ferociously from within me almost choked me. And it all had to do with laying eyes on The News' op-ed page today and noticing the headline on columnist Anjum Niaz's piece.

The headline read:

"A titter a day"

My first reaction was that this was some unintended typo, with Ms. Niaz actually writing about that infernally ubiquitous Twitter phenomenon. But no, I soon realized she was in fact holding forth on all things giggly. She even, believe it or not, uses the phrase "teehee and titters." (Does anyone really go "teehee" any more?!)

Now, I'm no juvenile and I know that "titter" is a proper word in the English language, but surely there must be some rule in some style book that tells editors never to use it in a headline. I mean, how can you NOT think of something like this?

"America's Merriest Magazine"

And let's not even get into the phrase "a titter ran through the crowd"...

But this set me off thinking about all those legitimate words or phrases that have accrued slightly more, shall we say, salacious meanings or the edge of double entendre, and can no longer be used in their original meaning in an article or normal conversation without inviting a smirk, a snide comment or an outright belly laugh.

Here are some of the ones that I thought of immediately:

gay: adj. happy
e.g.: Kookooburra sits on an old gum tree, merry merry king of the bush is he, laugh kookooburra laugh, kookooburra gay your life must be...

chick: n. baby hen or duckling
e.g.: There were so many cute chicks up for sale at the market...

cock: n. rooster
e.g.: We took our cock out of the henhouse...

pussy: n. cat
e.g.: I think my pussy is hungry...

beaver: n. an amphibious rodent
e.g.: Did you see that beautiful-looking beaver?

ass: n. a donkey
e.g.: He is so cruel, he keeps whipping that ass...

seamen: pl. n. sailors
e.g.: The submarine was full of young seamen...

tart: n. pastry
e.g.: The tarts at Cafe Flo are really excellent...

dike / dyke: n. an embankment of earth or rock to prevent floods
e.g.: We saw lots of dikes in Holland...


finger: (slang) v. to inform on, point out for arrest
e.g.: The would-be bomber fingered his accomplices...


madam: n. a courteous form of address for a lady
e.g.: She was quite the madam of her household...



Please feel free to add your own. But do ensure they are valid words to begin with...