Just Some Of The King's Men and Women (Updated)

This has already taken social media and even many television stations by storm. I am placing this here mainly for the record.

Remember that 2-hour 'Dunya TV Special' yesterday where Meher Bokhari and Mubasher Lucman conducted a joint 'grilling' of property tycoon Malik Riaz, currently at the centre of what has been variously termed 'Bahriagate' and 'Familygate'? Well, here are the behind-the-scenes from that marathon that some conscientous soul at Dunya has put up on the net for all to see. You need to watch this if you haven't already, trust me. After this, only an idiot could possibly take Pakistan's 'investigative' television media seriously.

Part 1:




Part 2:




So, basically we find out the following things:

1. This was a total set-up of an interview, with planted questions.

2. Malik Riaz is not only told the questions before-hand, he is fed some of the answers too and prompted by the intrepid interviewers to say things he might have forgot to mention.

3. The Prime Minister's son Abdul Qadir Gilani is in the know and involved, as are the Sharif brothers in a slightly different way.

4. There are instructions from Dunya TV management 'not to interrupt' Malik Riaz, even if it means going over time. Obviously, Dunya TV is more beholden to him than anyone could have guessed.

5. There actually were plenty of ego-clashes between the Bokhari and Lucman, even more than what was visible on air yesterday, over how much time each was getting to ask their questions. At one point, Malik Riaz tries to placate them both by telling them that they should put aside their squabbles because this programme is a matter of life or death for him. Meher tells Lucman to "be professional." You are allowed to laugh.

6. Other than providing an unembarrassed and shameless platform to someone well known for buying off the media in the shape of a fake 'grilling', the main thrust of the interviewers is to clear their own names as people bought off by Malik Riaz by throwing up smokescreens of asking hard-hitting questions. "Do you want to clear our names here?" asks Bokhari of Lucman while trying to decide the schedule of questions.

I don't really think you're going to ever clear your names after this, Ms Bokhari and Mr Lucman. Same goes for Dunya TV and its politician owner Mian Aamir Mahmood for that matter.


: : : Update : : :

1. For those who cannot understand the Urdu, here is a good summary of the videos.

2. According to Dunya TV sources, Mubasher Lucman has either been 'suspended' or fired for saying during the show that he was being pressurised to do the show by Mian Aamir Mahmood and Malik Riaz.

Of Governance Scandals And Clean Hands

We are sometimes accused by partisan supporters of opposition political parties of being soft on or for not being more vehement about denouncing the alleged corruption or misgovernance of the currently ruling Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP). While I could point to dozens of examples to dispute these claims, I would like to explain, once again, a couple of things.

Firstly, we do not brook real corrupt practises, arrogance or misgovernance; our only problem is when either claims are made without substantial proof or when such allegations are made arbitrarily only against the PPP and without context, as if everyone else - from the military to the judiciary to other political parties - is innocent of any blame and everything was hunky dory aside from the times that the PPP has been in power. This is not to say that the PPP should not be hauled up for its sins, only to provide a more balanced perspective.

But even more importantly than this is the fact that in the context of a mainstream media that overwhelmingly targets the ruling party (usually because that is in the nature of the media and sometimes because of less salubrious vested reasons), it makes little sense for us to repeat the same charges. The mainstream media has far, far more resources and outreach than we do and, to be sure, it is perfectly justified in its criticisms when it investigates and exposes real corruption and misgovernance. Our role, as we see it on the other hand, is not to reinforce what the dominant narrative is, but to provide, hopefully, some perspective, sometimes corrections and an alternative narrative where required.

Punjab Laptop Scheme: note the personal publicity

In any case, with that bit of explanation out of the way (and there is a connection which I will come to later), let me get down to what this post really is about. Those who follow us on Twitter will know that we already expressed our opposition to the Punjab Goverment's laptop distribution scheme. Our main contention against the scheme was two-fold:

1. That this was a wasteful publicity stunt that, like the disastrous Sasti Roti scheme before it, would drain the public exchequer without addressing real issues and would divert resources that could be better utilized in more productive schemes with more long-term benefit. 

2. That if providing access to computers to students is the goal, giving away laptops to individual students is possibly one of the worst solutions possible. Laptops, by their very nature, are more fragile, less upgradable and more prone to breakage and theft.

Keep in mind that our critique did not revolve around the issues of corruption or maladministration of the scheme, only its conceptualisation.

However, yesterday, Dunya TV's Khari Baat Lucman Ke Saath programme carried a devastating expose of how this scheme has really been run. It is a shocking expose of a scandal that most mainstream media has chosen to ignore so far, probably because it is too busy with stories about Memogate and exposing the federal government's malfeasance in the NRO case. I managed to catch the programme on repeat today and really think everyone who was upset at our opposition to the scheme should take a look at. (Hasan Nisar doesn't really add much to the programme but I am including the whole programme here so that you can appreciate the solid work and research that went into it. Kudos to the young reporter Huzaifa Rehman Qureshi who did most of it and to Mubasher Lucman for carrying it.)

Part 1:



Part 2:



Part 3:



Part 4:



So basically, not only was there apparently huge financial bungling in the procurements of laptops and in the publicity of the scheme, many of those who benefited from the scheme were either PMLN supporters, mediocre students or affluent people who did not deserve to be subsidized by the state.

This laptop scheme was announced in November last year. It has taken the mainstream media six months to raise serious issues about it (even though there were various murmurings against it online for some time). Most of the time, we have been treated only with PR-type statements justifying it, such as this one  in The Daily Times claiming total transparency in the scheme with no counter narrative or actual investigation of the claims. At the same time, the Chief Minister of Punjab, Shahbaz Sharif, is given ample (and often uncritical) coverage in the media vowing to ensure "good governance" and proclaiming that he will "hang the looters of the national wealth (i.e. PPP leaders) publicly."

Coming back to what I began with, can you imagine had such a scandal involved the PPP, that the media would have waited even a moment to pounce on it? Had the PPP been bestowing largesse to its jiyalas, to failed students and making money off it too, would Geo, to cite just one example, have waited six months to run exposes on it? Isn't it about time one questioned why certain people get a much easier ride from the media's vigilant watchdogs than others?

The Mohali Lead-up FacePalms

It's usually at times like these that I heave a sigh of relief that one does not have easy access to Indian news television channels in Pakistan. Because, really, I think adding them to the mix of frequent absurdity that Pakistan's news channels are capable of would be just too much to bear.

Have a gander at the following two clips. The first is from India TV which claims it has "earned a repute [sic] of credible reporting, courage, espousal of public interest and its [sic] unmatched delivery which is of a [sic] great value to all stakeholders." I truly do not know where to begin on this one. I suppose if one put intellectual absurdity mixed with an utter lack of knowledge and cricketing ignorance into a blender, added a cup of whacked out sensationalism with generous doses of bhang, you could, ostensibly arrive at something tasting like this 'report.'





The second clip is from a channel called CNEB, which, believe it or not, is short for Complete News and Entertainment Broadcast and which, according to its website, thinks Qamaruzzaman Kaira is the 'Home Minister of Pakistan.' It has this to say about itself:

"Complete News & Entertainment Broadcast Pvt. Ltd. (CNEB) has launched its 24 x 7 Infotainment Television Channel in May 2008 with the vision of its Group Chairman Shri H. S. Sran, that hordes of channels has come up and large numbers are waiting for the permission from Ministry of Information & Broadcasting; only few survive because as per the industry sources, the viewers stick to the channels which are showing programs with a difference."

Um.... yeah, whatever, dude. Here's how they bring a difference:




Can we collectively say 'preparing the ground for a whining'? I mean, ok, an alleged bookie hanging out with the team is news in itself (if true, it should be probed by the Anti-Corruption Unit of the ICC shouldn't it?) but how is billions being bet on a match and the mere presence of a suspicious character translate automatically into confirmation of a fix? CNEB of course raises questions about the match by blaming the punters ("sattaybaaz"). But, er, wouldn't the team - or certainly some members of the team - have to be involved in a fix? How come CNEB never points that out?

Incidentally, I have heard the same argument, about the match allegedly being fixed, from people in Pakistan - except that in our versions, it's Pakistan that's going to lose. FFS! Get over yourselves folks. As if either India or Pakistan can never lose unless some behind-the-scenes hanky panky is involved. In our media's defence, at least we didn't put such a wildly speculative (and frankly, rondhoo) preemptive story on our mainstream channels. Yet. Note to Pakistani TV channels: do NOT attempt to replicate!


Tailpiece: At the other end of the spectrum are the 'cricket-liberals', who in the midst of the (justified) hysteria about the Mother Of All Matches, are going around beatifically pontificating about cricket diplomacy, cricket for peace and the win-win scenario for South Asia (whatever that is). Basically, people who probably think Umar Gul and Zaheer Khan or Virender Sehwag and Misbahul Haq are in the same league, and really don't care that much about cricket or their national teams. Ahmer Naqvi and Masuud Qazi have a hilarious post up on Clear Cricket to inform them about the Prescribed Etiquettes and Attitudes for TGME (The Greatest Match Ever). Do have a look.

The Jazba of Corruption?

So yeah, I think we're all pretty psyched now for the Mother Of All Battles to take place in Mohali next Wednesday (March 30). An India - Pakistan World Cup semi-final is really the true final as far as both cricketing rivals are concerned (for one it will be a final, of course, even technically speaking). There can be nothing bigger at this World Cup. Nothing. And even as India completed its thrashing of Australia in the quarter-final today, the excitement at what is to come was already easily palpable. People on Twitter and Facebook were already sharing inspirational songs, hopes and cricketing assessments, expressing fears and neuroses, trash-talking to their digital brethren across the border and hoping to reverse-jinx the other side by talking up its strengths. And there's still five days of an agonizing wait ahead.

But more on that, perhaps, later. What I wanted to share with all of you today was this television advertisement which began airing (I think) on March 23rd. A long time ago, I did a post on the semantics of another mobile phone ad (also coincindentally of the same company) and I thought it's probably a good time to deconstruct another. You almost surely have seen the ad, since it runs repeatedly between the cricket (if you are watching in Pakistan), but have you really seen it? If you haven't, I suggest you take a look, particularly from 0:20 onwards (thanks to @shahidsaeed and @KhizM for helping locate the clip):





I hope you're already thinking what I'm about to say. Which of course is: Really Mobilink??? Did you really think the best way to promote your new product was to reference spot-fixing??? I mean, look at the evidence:

1. Mazhar Majeed character sitting outside tells batsman what shot to play next (0:20-0:25)

2. Side-kick character (the go-between?) reminds batsman not to get run-out without settling monetary compensation first (0:26-0:28). "Don't get run out, for free," he says.

3. Bowler gets his instructions to bowl bouncer also from outside the ground and shares the information with the batsman (0:28-0:30)

4. Batsman acknowledges the receipt of the information (0:31-0:34)

5. Bowler gives knowing smile and signals to batsman to seal deal (0:35-0:36)

6. The entire spot-fixing network is summarized involving the players, the bookie and the go-between (0:39-0:45)

7. The non-involved players represent the wide-eyed, clueless fans who cannot believe anything like this could happen (0:45-0:47). "Such?" [Really?] they exclaim.

8. The agreed deal is executed, with a lollipop bouncer being dispatched for a six (0:47-0:48)

9. Mazhar Majeed character displays his quiet triumph in managing another fix (0:49-0:50). Notice that he is not wildly excited like the other fans rushing on to the ground, his real 'interests' lie somewhere else.


After our recent shame with Messrs Butt, Amir and Asif, did Mobilink really want something like this to seem cool? And during the effing World Cup of all times??? When, for once, we've managed to forget all this and rise above it as a team??

And in the off-off-chance that nobody in Mobilink or the advertising agency actually thought about all this in quite these terms (which I am sure would be the line of convenient defence though everyone and their nanny knows that mobile phones have been banned by the International Cricket Council (ICC) even in team's dressing rooms for precisely these reasons), wouldn't you say that there's a sorry bunch of incompetents right there?

"Such."

National Asses

I don't know if you people have been following the whole Royal Palm Golf and Country Club saga, wherein massive irregularities and corruption have been alleged by a National Assembly special parliamentary committee in the establishment of the elite Lahore club on state-owned land during General Musharraf's tenure.

A view of the Royal Palm pool and courseways: strategic assets?

In case you haven't, read this October 2 report in The News from Rauf Klasra which details the charges of a Rs. 25 billion scam against three former generals who facilitated the establishment of the club, this October 4 report wherein former ISI supremo General Javed Ashraf Qazi passes the buck to the then finance minister Shaukat Aziz, this October 10 report where the management of the club make counter-accusations against two of the 20-member committee, and this report, finally, in Dawn today.

Basically, according to the "comprehensive" report issued by the National Assembly's 20-member committee - which investigated the matter for more than two years - the fancy club was established in 2001 on state-owned Railways land through "deceit and fraud and in connivance with the then high-ups of Pakistan Railways." These "high-ups" included then minister Lt. General Qazi, then secretary and chairman Lt. General Saeeduz Zafar, then general manager Maj. General Hamid Hassan Butt and then secretary Khursheed Alam Khan. Not only was the contract for the lease of the land signed in a non-transparent and patently hasty manner against the norms of tendering and business practice (in one day, without checking the bonafides of the company involved), it was later revised to unduly benefit the club and its Malaysian owners (such as reducing land utilisation charges from Rs. 52.43 to a mere Rs. 4 per yard) and to illegally grant further land without any open bidding. Purely on the basis of illegality on the additional grant of land, the committee calculates that the state suffered a Rs. 4.82 billion loss. I would urge you to read at least the first report to understand the scale of the scam.

Incidentally, Klasra had broken the story back in 2001 when questions had been raised by the Auditor General about the transparency of the deal but had been roundly condemned by the then powerful General Qazi. And of course nothing much happened, since as we all know, it's not illegal and corrupt if military figures are involved rather than civilian politicians.

Now, have a gander at the following advertisement, pubished in Dawn yesterday  (October 10, 2010) by the Royal Palm Golf and Country Club management:

The advertisement petulantly poses the following (grammatically incorrect) question: "What Price We Have To Pay To Build Our National Assets?"

I just have one question. How is a super-elite swanky golf club with only 2300 members (each of whom have shelled out millions to be a part of this privileged surrounding) in a country of 180 million plus (most of whom live either below or just above the poverty line, have no land to live on much less spend their non-existent leisure time on, and could not give a flying toss about golf), a "National Asset"?!?

I mean I know the definition of 'national interest' and 'national assets' has often been stretched beyond belief but this is just ridiculous!

...Condemned to Repetition

Came across this British film newsreel from early 1960 about Pakistan and specifically General Ayub Khan's plans for the country he had assumed charge of only two years earlier (through what was then propagandized as the "October Revolution", believe it or not) and thought it really was worth sharing.

Despite the almost laughable pukka orientalism of the British reporter and the PR nature of the report, it is fascinating to see images of the country from 50 years ago. But what is even more worth hearing are Ayub's words and ideas (often paraphrased by the reporter). Concern over 'corruption and a cracking economy', belief in a democracy 'suited to the local psyche', 'saving the future of the country' from those politicians who had 'let it down', 'devolving power down to the grassroots', an unwillingness to see himself as a military dictator, and support for the 'emancipation of women' as an engine for 'modernization.'

Hmmmmm. Now where might you have heard that again? In. Exactly. Those. Words.

What is that they say about those who cannot remember the past?


Part I:






Part II:





Tailpiece: The report ends with the following (probably unintentionally) prescient words: "Pakistanis know that their present revolutionary regime [sic] is the biggest gamble in their 12 years of independence. Will it pave the way to a stable and prosperous democracy? Or will it create evils as great as those it has driven out?" Keep in mind that within 10 years of this report, Pakistan was in a bloody civil war.

Heavy Music

Oof! You think pop musicians are a 'community', 'one big happy family'? Well, you might want to watch this edition of Front Line with Kamran Shahid, which featured a no-holds barred, slash and burn squabble between some of pop music's leading lights. The programme was broadcast on Express TV on June 6.

Apparently this was Part 2 of a programme dealing ostensibly with corruption within non-governmental organizations (NGOs). On the panel were three pop stars - Abrarul Haq, Shehzad Roy and Jawwad Ahmed -  each of whom have set up their own NGOs to 'give back to the people of Pakistan' in the health and education sectors (why musicians were singled out for this programme, I do not know).

In any case, what started off as a rather interesting discussion about the efficacy of NGOs in the face of overwhelming social problems - Jawwad Ahmed's point that NGOs are no solution to structural problems that require overturning basic social relationships being a valid one - soon deteriorated when Abrar took Jawwad's general point as some sort of personal attack on his NGO's work. In fact, Abrar's umbrage at Jawwad's criticism of NGOs being held out as some substitute to state responsibility, quickly degenerated into invoking religion and patriotism. To be fair to him, his upset was perhaps also motivated by an irritation at Jawwad's sometimes self-righteous tone and his desire to leave aside rhetoric and do something practical. However, his refusal to even consider Jawwad's view as having any merit made him come across as petulant that his attempt to sell NGO jargon ("the four I's") was being sidetracked.

The tensions over philosophical points of view boiled over by the end of the programme into an ugly and very personal slanging match between the two, wherein both accused each other of corruption and embezzlement. If anyone came across well, it has to be said it was the youngest of the three panelists, Shehzad Roy, who displayed a remarkable maturity in keeping himself above the fray. In addition, he seemed to clearly understand both points of view and what the issue being debated was. Which is more than one can say for the host, Kamran Shahid - incidentally, the son of film actor Shahid, in case you did not know - whose bumbling interventions consisted entirely of trying to drag the discussion to the level of soundbites about corruption.

Here's the programme. The real ugly fireworks begin in the last part but if you have the time and interest in the philosophical issue, recommend watching the whole thing.


Part 1:






Part 2:





Part 3:





Part 4:






On the one hand, I am sort of happy to see that (at least some of) Pakistan's pop musicians can actually think of things beyond multinational sponsorships and weirdo conspiracy theories and talk about real issues with some intelligence. On the other, I doubt I could watch their music videos any more without thinking of this exchange.

Just In Case You Were Wondering...

... Here's PML(N) spokesperson, Senator Pervaiz Rasheed, explaining a few things while accusing former Punjab Chief Minister and PML (Q) leader Pervaiz Elahi of massive corruption:

"Responding to the queries of the media as why Punjab government did not take action against the former CM despite having strong evidence in this regard, Pervaiz Rasheed said the media maligning was considered action in a democratic process."

On the other hand, this may also demonstrate how probable sarky comments can sound utterly bizarre when reported as matter of fact.

Senator Pervaiz Rasheed (centre) seen here taking action against terrorism (source: minhaj.org)

In any case, now you know.

Family First

Can you beat this? Or more specifically, can we beat him? Like, physically?

According to an exclusive story today by The News' Usman Manzoor, Pakistan's ambassador to Syria has replaced the entire staff and faculty of the Pakistan International School in Damascus - apparently a prestigious and respected school - with his immediate family members. Collectively, they now earn a monthly salary of US$38,000.

"The Pakistan International School in Damascus is run by the embassy of Pakistan but within five months after the arrival of new ambassador, Aminullah Raisani, in September 2009, the management and faculty of the school was changed altogether without giving any reason and the school was stuffed with the relatives of the ambassador.

 

According to the list of newly inducted teachers Saeeda Yasmeen Raeesani has been appointed as Principal. She is sister of the ambassador and is drawing $6,500 per month as salary while the previous principal Syed Tauseef Bokhari was getting $2,500. Another sister, Ms Abbas, has been appointed as Urdu teacher for $3,500 per month.

 

Two daughters, Amna Aminullah Raeesani and Quratulein Aminullah Raeesani, have been appointed as teachers. These two are getting $3,000 per month as salary while the school was paying only $1,700 for the same job to previous teachers.

 

Mohammad Ishaque, brother-in-law of the ambassador, has been appointed as accountant for $3,500 per month while the same job was previously with one Imran for just $900 a month.

 

Attique-ur-Rehman and Syed Muhammad Ali, ambassador’s nephews, have been appointed as business teachers for $3,000 a month while the same job was done for $1,500 only before September 2009.

 

Nayla Atiq, granddaughter of ambassador’s sister, is working as Maths teacher for $3,000 a month while her predecessor was drawing $1,700 a month as salary. Ali Abdullah, the son-in-law of ambassador’s sister, and Muhammad Ahsan Shafique, ambassador’s cousin, have been appointed as teachers for $3,000 a month while their predecessors were drawing $1,500 a month.Another cousin of the ambassador, Rasheed Chattha, has been appointed as biology teacher for $3,500 a month while previously Ms Manal Sileman was doing the same job for $1,500 a month."

Sisters, brothers-in-law, daughters, cousins, nephews, grand-nieces, even sisters' son-in-laws. I mean, I've heard of being supportive of family, but this is ridiculous! But these specific allegations against him are not all:

"Ms Manal Sileman, one of the Syrian teachers of the Pakistani school who has been sent home without giving any notice and without any reason, while talking to The News from Damascus on phone said that it was strange that an ambassador instead of running the affairs of the embassy was keen in the business of the school. She lamented that the ambassador has imported Chinese shoes and made it mandatory for every student to purchase those shoes at much higher rates."

Truly, they are right when they say, Pakistanis take a bit of Pakistan with them wherever they go. I would like to take some of those Chinese shoes to Mr Raisani's backside. And hang some around his neck too.

Video of the Day

What can one say? Except, who IS this PPP idiot Sardar Abdul Qayyum Jatoi anyway? And this man is a minister???

Actually, listening to him, you may come to the correct conclusion that he is actually right: the bigger problem in Pakistan is certainly the nepotistic and screwed up system that throws up such incompetents as him in the first place! (Originally posted on siasat.pk)

Blocking Corruption at the Seams

This was crying out to be taken notice of. According to a news item in The News, Nepal's authorities have come up with an innovative way of curbing corruption by airport officials. Here's what it said:

Nepal airport workers to wear pocket-less pants

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

KATHMANDU: Nepal’s anti-corruption authority has come up with a novel solution to rampant bribe-taking at the country’s only international airport: the pocketless trouser.

The authority said it was issuing the new, bribe-proof garment to all airport officials after uncovering widespread corruption at Kathmandu’s Tribhuvan International Airport.

“We sent a team to observe the growing complaints about the behaviour of airport authorities and workers towards travellers and we discovered that the reports were true,” said Ishwori Prasad Paudyal, spokesman for the Commission for the Investigation of Abuse of Authority (CIAA).

“So we decided that airport officials should be given trousers with no pockets. We have directed the ministry of civil aviation to implement our order as soon as possible,” he told AFP.” We believe this will help curb the irregularities.”

Paudyal said CIAA investigators had observed theft as well as bribe-taking by airport officials, who would lose their jobs if the situation did not improve.

His comments came a day after Nepal’s new Prime Minister Madhav Mumar Nepal expressed fears that corruption was tarnishing the airport’s reputation.

Nepal’s tourism industry employs around 300,000 people in one of the world’s poorest countries. The landlocked Himalayan nation attracted a record 550,000 foreign visitors in 2008, two years after a peace deal that ended the decade-long Maoist insurgency. It has set an ambitious goal of attracting one million tourists a year by 2011.

I think Pakistani authorities should also take a leaf out of Nepal's book and institute these trousers not just at airports but in all bureaucracy and particularly the police. Of course, I have a few suggstions of my own for further streamlining:

Make the trousers zipless as well: Not only would this prevent our much more resourceful bribe-takers from stuffing notes inside, it will have the added benefit of making their wearers much more jumpy about getting to the toilet to relieve themselves, leading to greater efficiency. No more long waits while the guy at the counter chats away.

Tank tops on top of pocketless / zipless trousers for all field officials: It may cause some visual discomfort for ordinary citizens in the short term, but the embarrassment of plainly visible pot-bellies will surely lead their wearers to do something about them. (I was going to suggest transparent shirts - adding a whole new dimension to Transparency International - but I think that it would be too much to take for our long-suffering countrymen and women.)

Full-body x-rays at the end of the shift, using the Green Channel scanner: for the even more industrious of our people.

Provision of tea and water at stands near any officials: So the usual line about needing money for "chai pani" can become ineffective.

That's all I can think of right now. Any more?